the moving diaries: the beginning

June 5, 2021


Happy Saturday friends! I thought that for the next year it would be interesting and helpful to those that might be moving to document and share some behind the scenes things of our moving experience. 

As a bit of background, both mom and I have completed a long-distance move in different ways (our family from Pennsylvania to Tennessee when I was a child, me from Tennessee to Washington DC and then Washington DC to Georgia). In addition to this both mom and I have (at different times in our lives) moved several times across states and different places. 

I say that to share that it is not our first time moving for either of us, but this move does bring with it a completely different set of emotions and intricacies then other moves in the past. 

First, this is the first large move to a new place without my dad. When we moved back to Tennessee in the fall this was extremely hard, but as we set about on a new adventure this has brought about a lot of emotions and also practicalities that we didn't focus on as much. This is the first huge move without his help, his laughter and joking around which always was a gift in the midst of stressful times, and most of all without his counsel and wisdom that I so miss. 

Along with that this is the first time that my mom is making a lot of huge decisions on her own after being married for 50 years. My mom is the most capable person that I have ever met and the wisest, but I have stood in awe as I have watched her navigate this new "adventure" in deep ways behind the scenes. 

Second, not to state the complete obvious, but another intricacy in this situation is that we are two women in the midst of a pandemic who are moving. I am all for "women's rights", but I do admit that there are have been a lot of times where I have found myself in tears with just feeling extremely weak physically -after a long school year and I am obviously still healing from years of treatment and emotionally after the loss of not only my precious dad two years ago but then my precious grandmother in the fall...and the bittersweet grief at the end of a wonderful school year.

I am embarrassed to admit this, but for the sake of honesty and vulnerability here on the blog and for those going through a similar move, I have had a lot of tears behind the scenes and a lot of prayers for "give me strength". If you find yourself in a similar situation, I am so sorry. This has given me a whole new perspective on (in the future) helping those move- especially those who do not have a lot of help. 

Third, as I just alluded in the above paragraph I am exhausted from this year... well from the past two years. Deeply exhausted and I am still healing from losing my father and then also losing my grandmother... so the exhaustion is making this a difficult move. And I know that after the year that we all have had I am not the only one that feels like this. 

Fourth, moving is more expensive then I remembered. Anyone else shocked by all of the costs associated with moving? I am not sure if it is because we had more help in the past or if it has been so long since we moved as a family (obviously something I don't remember much of with moving costs) or that my previous experiences were more in moving apartments versus a house that my mom lived in for 30+ years... but it has been overwhelmingly expensive.

Fifth, if you know me well you know that up until my dad died I was one of the first people to be thinking of the next adventure. In fact the blog tells and shares lot of stories of this (click HERE)- even in the midst of fighting several life-threatening diseases... but I would be lying if I didn't say that some of that has changed over the last two years. I am still healing from the trauma of losing my dad suddenly and I often find myself second-guessing...well fourth-guessing a lot of things. So a move seems more stressful then it does "adventuresome" as I have thought in the past. This is something that I definitely want to get back to, but for now at the beginning of this move that is how I am definitely feeling.

I titled this blog post, "the beginning" but in some ways I don't really think that I would say that... since my mom announced in the Spring that she wanted to move back to New York we have been "beginning" but now we are doing this full speed as we walk forward, with all of our different emotions and intricacies believing and trusting that the best is yet to come and that there are good things in store for us...we are at the beginning.

I am looking forward to sharing and even sharing how during this moving process it was a beautiful and peaceful move with blessings beyond what we expected. Anyone have moving experiences moving across country? I would love to hear them... 

(PS- I well understand that we are not the only ones moving in the midst of a season of unexpectedness or in grief... or even those who are military families moving to a different country. My heart and prayers are with you if you are in one of these situations.)

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