Happy Saturday friends! I hope the start to your weekend is going great! It's been a month since I updated on our move to New York from Tennessee and then there have been some additional moves after that!*smiles* I thought today would be the perfect day to update on our move up to New York as I receive so many questions each day about how things are going, how teaching is going, how we are settling in, etc. In many ways it is completely surreal that this week marks eight months since the process really began and a couple of months since we moved again (from Albany to upstate New York). In some ways it seems like years because so many things have taken place... time is funny like that- isn't it?
Overall
Overall, I would say that we have been met with peace in deep ways as we have moved back to upstate New York. Honestly a peace that is beyond on my understanding. Last year at this time both of us were completely against moving back here for so many different reasons, but as the Lord opened doors to this space, job, and area it has been a peaceful and sweet transition. I think that there are still so many things that you have to give yourself grace for and so if you are in the midst of a lot of big adjustments and moves like we are... give yourself a LOT of grace.
Teaching
I shared this last week, but since I am often asked if I miss teaching high school right now in this unexpected season, I wanted to clarify yes. Yes. Yes. Yes... definitely yes. More than words can express. More than words can say. DEFINITELY yes. This picture (above) popped up in my memories recently (from a precious "senior day" that we did last year) and it brought tears to my eyes. Last year was one of the biggest blessings of my life... and I will ALWAYS be grateful. More than words can express.
I recently wept as I read these pages from the book, "The Making of Us"... it says it WAY more eloquently than my words could ever express (about the missing of a job that you loved):
Happy Monday friends! I am so excited to share with y'all a new product that went into the caravan sonnet shoppe at teachers pay teachers this past week! This is a resource for united states history teachers at the high school.
If you would like to go directly to this resource you can click HERE!
* Red Fear and Political Ideas of the 1920s
*Race Issues/KKK
*Immigration Changes
*Prohibition
*Entertainment of the 1920s
*Consumerism
*Feminism and the Equal Rights Amendment
*Sexuality in the 1920s
*Flappers
*Religion in the 1920s
*Scopes Monkey Trial
*Music in the 1920s (Jazz Age)
*Literature in the 1920s
If you would like to purchase this powerpoint you can find it HERE! Thank you so much for all of your support of the shoppe! If you would like to check out the shoppe you can find it HERE! Also, could you do me a favor? If you have purchased a product in the shoppe could you take a moment to share a review? As a new shop reviews are SO helpful and important! I would greatly appreciate your time! This has been an incredible blessing and you are making this possible!!
Thank you again friends! Happy Monday!
cozy-luxury haven living peacefully beckoning, prompted by love and full of beauty in the everyday
It has been nearly a month since I wrote a blog post on here, but in reality it has been longer than that...it has been years since I have really opened up and shared my heart in deep ways here in this space... nearly a decade of fighting for my life due to health issues followed by several years of walking through a different and more difficult wilderness then I could have imagined, of trying to put one foot in front of the other after the traumatic and sudden loss of my dad, caring for my grandmother as she started the journey home with a long goodbye, helping my mother as she healed from heart surgery and then two weeks later losing her husband of nearly 50 years and adjusting to all different medications that were not the right fit which caused extreme issues, walking through PTSD, traveling after the loss of my dad to Alaska, traveling on a beautiful adventure with my mom, starting my first full time job in over nearly a decade, Kidney Stones, Nights and days in the hospital with my precious grandmother during the first Christmas after my father died, friendships walking away because we were in deep grief, navigating the world without a precious and amazing dad who was our leader, the hit of COVID which effectively ended my travel part of the blog that was thriving and growing and bringing in so many more experiences and travel jobs and an income that was BEYOND what I could have ever imagined when I first started this space in 2013, my creative shoppes closing due to the pandemic, saying goodbye to a Masters program because the subject matter of the Holocaust was too difficult in my grief, ending a book contract which had been a dream, the extreme pressure and stress of getting all of my international students back to their home countries during COVID, deciding to move back to my childhood home to help my mother settle in and clean out our house which was made harder than we ever dreamed possible it would be due to emotions, and then mold where I lost all of my worldly possessions from before illness life, struggles with my health behind the scenes, the return of a dream fulfilled with going back to teaching, the loss of my precious grandmother, the most incredible year with a group of students in F112 that changed my life, deciding to move with my mom and help her sell her home in TN and then move to NY, the entire process of moving as two single women, saying goodbye to a group of students who became friends and who were more dear to me then words could ever express, settling in for a few weeks at the cabin in the summer to discover a lot of issues behind the scenes, traveling back and forth from NY to TN in the midst of a pandemic to sell the house, moving to Albany, adjusting to a new school and a very different culture then what had been portrayed in the interview process, a very personal reason for resigning after only 11 weeks at the school, the lack of knowing how to proceed in this community and space without the worldwide travel component, the decision to move from Albany back upstate, the start of a new job, another upcoming move to get all of our things out of Albany to upstate, cleaning out my grandmothers home, and hundreds of little details behind the scenes...etc. etc. etc.
It has been a lot of stuff. A lot of life. A lot of heartbreak. A lot of grief in many different aspects. A lot of hard. A lot of brokenness...and more tears than there was laughter....
A lot of not seeing dreams fulfilled not just in the last 3 years but in the last decade.
Dreams of a husband.
Dreams of becoming a mama.
Dreams of a life that I had pictured with the family that I dearly love in tact...in full.. instead of missing two key players that were so important.
Dreams shattered in work spaces, in creative space, in author spaces, in plans...
Dreams of so many sacred and personal things... so many different dreams that are deeply hidden in my heart that as the world has continued there has been a constant "on hold" in the life of sickness that I walked and then in the season of deep painful grief.
Life after so much beauty from healing from Lyme, Cancer, and multiple illnesses was not what I had envisioned with the happy ending that I had written in my head as it would be, but was caught in a deep "sadness, a sense of unfairness, even jealousy toward those who have what I wanted. Life felt meaningless, and I battled feelings of failure, and if I am honest enough I harbored anger and disbelief toward the God who had denied my requests."*
What I was to slowly ...ever so slowly find was that Sheridan Voysey was right..."But there is a life after a dream has died. The God of the crucifixion is also the God of the resurrection. While a fairy tale cannot be promised (as there are precious few fairy tales outside Disney), the tragedy can make way for some joy. And while some scars will remain...healing and restoration can come."*
And in the midst of ALL of what I mentioned above... there has been a lot of love. A lot of beauty. A lot of provision that I would only call supernatural. A lot of laughter (a HUGE thank you to the senior class of 2021), a lot of watching healing in those I love, a lot of seeing miracles happen, a lot of receiving love and kindness and extravagant grace and mercy... a lot of growing... a lot of facing the hard and stepping into grief and fear... and the slow, slow, sssssllloooowww change of despite "spending ten years in the wilderness and not arriving at the promised land" the lesson that there is a greater tragedy in life... and that is that perhaps the greater tragedy than a broken dream is a life forever defined by it."*
Talking with loved ones, counselors, the community here in this space, my former college Pastor, and other beautiful leaders in my life was a helpful beginning to healing... and then re-reading (and weeping) through "Resurrection Year" was the gift that God used in the midst of the darkness... and the gentle and encouraging words of Scripture has brought me full circle to Gods tender peacefully beckoning, prompted by love and finding beauty in the everyday.**
Life is different.
Life is SO very different then what I could have ever imagined...and in that I am finding joy in the path before me. Not in the change of things or titles or duties...but in the gentle path before me.
I am often asked if I miss teaching high school right now in this unexpected season. I recently wept as I read these pages from the book, "The Making of Us"... it says it WAY more eloquently than my words could ever express:
Happy Thursday friends! I hope the start to your Christmas weekend is going great! It's been a little bit since I updated (a couple of months to be exact *smiles*) and I thought today would be the perfect day to update on our move up to New York as I receive so many questions each day about how things are going, how teaching is going, how we are settling in, etc. In many ways it is completely surreal that this week marks seven months since the process really began and a couple of months since we moved in and I started teaching in New York and then as some of you are aware we moved again. In some ways it seems like years because so many things have taken place... time is funny like that- isn't it?
Overall
Overall, I would say that there are many times that I feel like we are taking one day at a time and just taking things each moment as they come and other times where it feels like we are really settling in. I think big changes are like that- just lots of adjustments and giving yourself a LOT of grade.
Teaching
As I shared last month, there were some incredible changes that took place. You can read more HERE.
1. Be Present.
I have said this before, but the best gift that you can give is yourself. Yes, the holiday seasons are busy for you with lots of parties, events, and gatherings but most likely your loved one who is fighting Lyme Disease is not able to attend all or any of these types of events. Many times they feel loneliness more than ever at the holiday season as they spend more time alone during these weeks then others as people are off having lots of fun. The best gift you can give is to schedule in a phone call, stop over for a visit, or skype with your friend during your busy and their lonely holiday season - what a beautiful gift this would be!
2. Offer monetary help if possible.
Many Lyme Disease patients use special bath products (including shampoo, conditioner, soap, lotion, perfume, deodorant, etc.) that are free from certain dyes, chemicals, or ingredients. Yes, these items are more expensive but are necessary. What a lovely gift this would be for someone! Don't know what they use? Ask them or a family member!
Most of us with Lyme Disease desperately need our cell phones and that yucky bill each month takes out a huge amount of money. Consider paying their cell phone bill for a month! I have a Lymie friend who shared that a group of her former co-workers went down to her cell phone provider and paid her cell phone bill for the year. What an AMAZING gift!
You know how you spend a lot of money on having your hair cut, nails done, etc. for the holiday season? Your loved one who is suffering from Lyme Disease would love that to but would never dream of spending the money on something like that anymore. I can speak from personal experience that the changes that occur with an illness in regards to personal appearance can be difficult. Different medications can cause weight changes, hair loss, skin break outs, and generally make you feel like you look "awful". I personally would love to have a hair cut, eye brows waxed, nails done, etc. but there is NO money for this type of thing. (To be completely personal I have had my hair cut twice in the last three years.) You get the point friends. If this is something you can give to a friend- it would be an incredibly blessing.
When you offer unsolicited advice, it can come across as a lecture- even if that is not your intent. Someone once said: "Assume that we have heard all of the tips on Lyme Disease and leave it at that." I couldn't have said it any better.
Why not gather a few items together to give to those who can't go out? Perhaps a snack, movie, etc. could provide a lovely gift!
8. Soft, Snugly, and Comfy blankets.
I love feeling comfy- especially on days where the pain is intense and I feel so miserable. I love the gift of soft blankets, comfy sheets, and sweet throws. A couple of years ago I was the recipient of a beautiful prayer quilt. Every time that I look at it and use it I am reminded that there are SO many people praying for me.
Need suggestions? Here are just a few things that immediately come to mind:
Those with Lyme Disease spend a lot of time in bed, at home, or in the hospital and nice pajamas are always a lovely gift.
11. Magazine subscriptions are a lovely gift!
12. Purchase a netflix/hulu/pureflix account for a year.
13. Buy a "prime" membership on amazon.
14. Create a relaxing atmosphere.
15. Gas Gift Cards.
I can't even begin to express how much money I spent in gas money each week driving to all of my local doctors appointments and this doesn't even begin to account for the ones that are not local. Gas gift cards are a wonderful gift.
16. Mind the car.
Along with #15 - a car gets lots of use. Take the car for a "spa day" and get the oil changed, washed, filled up with gas, and tuned up. This would be an AMAZING gift! Better yet, have someone do an entire tune up!
17. Ask them what the best books are on Lyme Disease and then read them.
18. Introduce a hobby or supplement their existing hobby.
Does your friend do a hobby that helps them pass the time or that they enjoy? Perhaps your friend has opened an online shop to help cover the cost of treatment? Purchase items that they have been wanting or give them a gift card to their favorite specialty craft store. Do they not have a hobby but have been talking about starting one? Buy the intro book, the intro supplies, and give them the gift of creativity!
19. Give the gift or reading.
Is there something that your friend loves to read? Buy them the books they have been wanting but can't afford. Does your friend struggle with Neuro Lyme and can't read anymore? Give them books on tape! Don't know what to give them? Purchase a gift card to a bookstore or a kindle gift card. Maybe even purchase a kindle...
20. Research and Purchase a Gadget that can help them as they fight Lyme Disease.
21. Pay for an upcoming Doctors Appointment.
One of the things that many people don't understand is that despite having insurance your Lymie friend most likely has to pay for their doctors appointments out of pocket. This means that instead of just having a co-pay your friend is responsible for the entire doctors visit at the time of the appointment. Prices vary but patients can bay anywhere between $375 to $1800 per appointment. Consider paying for a doctors appointment (or partial appointment) by calling the doctors office and seeing how you can put money on their account. Believe me- this would be a priceless gift.
While not everyone is a writer, some of us go through journals
Is your friend using alternative supplements? Most people with Lyme Disease use alternative treatments and these can be an expensive but necessary "addition" to their regime. Consider giving a gift card to their reflexologist, acupuncturist, massage therapist, chiropractor, etc. These are often expensive and this would be a wonderful gift. (Disclaimer: only purchase what your friend is currently using. This is not the time to give advice on what you believe would be the cure!)
Many Lymies have had to leave the job they love and have tried to find a way to make money in a new capacity. Support their endeavor. Do they have an etsy shop? Purchase gifts from that shop and spread the news about their shop via social media. Do they make things and sell them on the side? Have they written books? Help spread the word! One friend that I have who has Epilepsy had to quit her job teaching but is the most AMAZING baker and creates gorgeous and delicious pies. Another friend of ours went around to local churches who were holding Thanksgiving dinners this year and set up a business deal for her where the churches purchased the pies and she was able to gain enough income for a couple of months. This was an amazing idea our friend had but my friend with Epilepsy didn't have the energy to even think about it! This was an incredible blessing and guess what? She has "expanded" outside of our city and next year has double the orders from other churches and businesses!! Think outside the box for your friend, support their work - whether it is through purchasing something yourself or just simply spreading the word!
I suggested asking your loved one what books that they would recommend to read about Lyme Disease but why not also because an advocate? Isn't it wonderful that there are so many walks and "government supported" funding for certain illnesses? That came about in part because of friends and family rallied to bring awareness. What about Lyme Disease? Do you know how what it really is? (If you don't you can read this post, "What is Lyme Disease" by clicking HERE!) Do you know how it is affecting your friend specifically? Do you know what is happening in Congress or at the state level in regards to it? Become an advocate for your loved one and for the thousands of others that might not have loved ones who care.
Yes, hot tubs are expensive but Amazon sells the Conair Thermal Bath Spa Mat for a very reasonable price. This would be such a lovely gift! Along with this idea: special heating pads, massage heating pads, etc.
Do y'all live in an area where winter rears its ugly head? Consider purchasing a can of spray defroster so that they do not have to scrape their car! (And maybe gloves, warm scarves, etc.!)
29. Help your friend address Christmas Card Envelopes.
Sometimes the energy to address the cards can be an issue. Offer to address the cards (and mail them!) for your friend! (Does your friend need to send out presents in the mail? Offer to do this for them! Waiting in line at the post office can be physically exhausting!)
The amount of emotions that encompass a day of living with Lyme Disease is absolutely staggering. There are hundreds of different side effects that your Lymie friend is dealing with and the road to healing is not a straight line. Your friend may be happy in the morning and one hour later is in tears because something didn't go right with the insurance company or the pharmacy. A beautiful gift in the middle of all of the chaos is a letter from a friend, cheering them on, expressing support and love and hope. This would be a beautiful gift that your friend would read many times over. Another idea? I was just the recipient of an envelope stuffed with letters from people that I don't know from a dear friends church. These people had spent time praying for me and then all wrote me letters. I have cried over them, re-read them hundreds of times already, and have been reminded that I am not alone. Words are powerful and can be the best gift of all.
31. Homemade Inspirational Artwork.
Create artwork that can be displayed- especially for those who are bedridden.
32. Create a Retreat.
Do you have a Lymie coming to visit for the holidays? Consider setting them up somewhere that they can retreat to rest and relax when they are feeling sick. A sweet friend of mine shared a precious story from a Christmas a couple of years ago. She was dreading a trip to her sister and brother-in-laws home simply because she knew that there would be 30 (!!) people that would all be staying in the home and it would offer little quiet time which she desperately needed at that stage of her treatment. She was very concerned about this and was considering not going on the trip when a beautiful present arrived in the mail. Her sister and brother-in-law had reserved a room at an exclusive retreat center in the same town. This allowed her the freedom to be apart of the holidays but also the necessary space to retreat and rest. As she says "it was the best Christmas present ever"! What a beautiful gift. Maybe you can't afford to do that but why not set up a special room in your home for your loved one where they can retreat as needed? This will give them an incredible blessing amidst the "hustle and bustle".
33. Give a gift card for "unmentionables".
If your friend hasn't had the money (or the energy) to buy new clothes in a while consider giving them a gift card to purchase the necessities that they probably need.
34. Purchase Pet Items.
Does your friend have a pet? Consider purchasing a gift card to their vet, paying for a pet "check up" (or grooming), or giving them a gift basket of necessary food and litter, treats, or toys.
35. Remember the caregiver(s).
I have often said this but me being ill is often harder on my family then myself. To see people that are constantly hurting and suffering and not be able to do anything about it is excruciating. Reach out to the caregivers and you will touch the heart of the person who is ill too.
As I have said countless times here on the blog, realize that your friend or family member with Lyme Disease is the best gift this season. Their illness is forcing them to set limitations but the gift to you is remembering what is truly important in the holiday season. Celebrate people. Not things or activities. At the end of the day people are the most important thing not whether or not you were able to buy every single gift in the world, decorate your house the best, or have the cutest pinterest worthy decorations. People are what matter friends and Lyme Disease may be the best gift in helping us all remember that this holiday season!
Looking for other posts on how to help friends with an illness during the holiday season?
Check out these other posts:
15 Ways to Help a Friend with a Chronic Illness at Thanksgiving
Interested in purchasing one of my Lyme Books as a Christmas Present? You can click on the links below to go to each Lyme Disease book! Thank you so much for your support!
(1) When Light Dawns: Daily Reflections on Advent and Christmas for Lyme Warriors
(2) Praying through Lyme Disease- Book of Prayers
(3) When Hope Restores: Daily Reflections on Hope from the Psalms for the Lyme Disease Journey
(4) When Truth Refreshes: Daily Reflections for the Emotions that Accompany the Lyme Disease Journey
