Several years ago, as I prepared to celebrate the Memorial Day holiday I realized that I was embarrassed to admit that I didn't know the history behind the particular day. So I decided to look it up and learn about it. As many of you know, Memorial Day is a patriotic holiday that is intended to honor the Americans who have protected our country throughout generations. Memorial Day started as a way to remember those who had died in the Civil War. At this time it was called "Decoration Day, and was first strted in Carbondale, Illinois in 1866. Over the decades celebrations spread to different towns and cities across the United States, and eventually in 1971 it became a formal national holiday. 

If you visit a grave site, you may see people placing coins on top of a grave. Each coin symbolizes a different thing. Pennies mean that you stopped by the grave site, dimes symbolize serving with the deceased and quarters mean that you witnessed the deceased death.

I am so grateful to live in a country that takes time to honor the men and women who have served and our serving our country and their families. To all of our veterans and active military members and their families and loved ones: I am forever grateful for your service and sacrifice today and everyday. May you experience the gratitude our nation feels on this Memorial Day and beyond.

The journey of chronic illness has ins and outs that unless you are living and walking that road is impossible to understand. I once shared about the long and winding road to healing with Lyme disease (HERE) but that post is true for anyone walking through a chronic illness. Your listening ear is the most important gift that you could offer in the journey.

2. Understand that Chronic Illness is a long-term issue. 
Walk in with your eyes wide open.The hardest thing in this journey can be friends who leave so truly understand that it is a long term thing.

3. Listen without offering advice (unless asked). 
When you offer unsolicited advice, it can come across as a lecture- even if that is not your intent. Someone once said: "Assume that we have heard all of the tips on living healthier and leave it at that." I couldn't have said it any better.

4. Offer monetary help if possible. 
Even with insurance patients with chronic diseases spend thousands and thousands of dollars trying to get healthy. Many people with Chronic Illness, like myself, have already gone through all available resources. These types of gifts do not have to be large either. Someone gave me a five dollar gift card to Target that helped purchase necessities. Such a blessing! Truly gift cards are wonderful if that is an option for you to give!

5. Understand that Chronic Illness' are complex.

6. Send an email or a text just to say "hello".
It doesn't have to be long or take a lot of time but sending a quick "thank you" is truly a blessing.

7. Help with housework or yard work. 
One friend of mine has a friend who comes over weekly to mow her lawn since her husband fell ill. This gift has been a priceless help during an incredibly difficult time. If you don't have the time for housework or yard work consider spending the money on purchasing these services as a gift.

8. Leave a phone message. 
One of my dear friends always leaves her message with adding in precious words of "you don't have to call back...". Such a precious gift filled with understanding.

9. Pick up (and purchase if possible) prescriptions.

10. Pick up children from school or to create a carpool.

11. Offer your gifts that you have. 
A friend of mine has a friend who is a masseuse and offers a massage free of charge to her friend once a month. Another friend runs a house-cleaning business and offers her services free of charge once a month.

12. Take children to church or other events. 
Many times those with chronic conditions are forced to miss out on everyday and important events. An offer to take their children would give them a piece of mind.

13. Send cards but not "get well" cards.

14. Send care packages.

15. Buy nice pajamas. 
Those with chronic illnesses spend a lot of time in bed or in the hospital and nice pajamas are always a lovely gift.

16. Magazines are a lovely gift.

17. Be very careful about your timing. 
One day when I ended up in the emergency room and I texted a few friends asking for prayer. One friend responded back asking me if I truly had faith that I would be healed because then I wouldn't need prayer. I am sure it was not meant to be hurtful but the timing could not have been any worse. It came as the nurse attempted her sixth stick for an IV and I couldn't stop throwing up. I expected some encouraging words only to read those words. Timing, as the old adage says truly is everything.

18. Pick up groceries.

19. Come and just sit or watch TV or a movie with your friend.

20. Flowers. 
Is there ever a wrong time for flowers? *smiles*

21. Don't say: "But you don't look sick" or... "But you don't act sick".
One of the most read posts on my blog is my post entitled, "But You Don't Act Sick" (HERE). I am not sure what a sick person is supposed to act or look like but the reality is that there is a reason many illnesses are called "invisible illnesses". 

22. Treat your friend as a whole person. 
The best gifts I am offered are by my closest friends and family who treat me as a whole person. I am more than my illness. I have a lot of other things going on in life and while my illness may be central to a lot of the issues, I still like to talk about normal everyday things.

23. Offer a gift card to buy movies or TV seasons or purchase a Netflix, Pureflix, or Hulu subscription. 
This definitely can help pass the time.

24. Respect the limitations and boundaries of your friend.

Today I thought it would be fun to share some of the best and worst travel experiences I have had! Starting off first with the worst, I honestly don't have any horrible stories. Every trip- even if it has gone in a different way than was planned has ended up teaching me something which in my mind is priceless, but there are a few that I necessarily wouldn't want to repeat. *smiles* 

(1) When I was in high school I went on a couple of mission trips down to Mexico with my church youth group. Each time we took the bus for the near 40 hour trip from Tennessee To Juarez, Mexico. The youth pastor had a real "love" for lots of McDonald's and Burger King and literally stopped to eat every meal of our trips at these two places. Let's just say that with the air conditioning dying and lots of traffic there were lots of us not feeling so great living off of these two fast food places. To this day I literally can't stand either of them.

(2) When I was in high school one of good friends invited me to Hilton Head with her family for a week. The trip down there was eventful as her parents loved to speed (I am talking going over 85 mph around windy roads) and loved Dunkin Donuts. The combination once again was not good for my tender stomach and once again as a result of a trip I grew to loathe a famous fast food indulgence. I literally to this today still hate the smell of donuts. 

hahaha... I am just realizing why I probably over pack healthy snacks on road trips now in my adult life.... hahaha.... 

(3) My third "worst" trip is a bit ironic as it turned out to be the worst for me (physically) but it also held incredibly awesome memories. When I was a cheerleading coach at the school I taught at in DC I took one of the teams to a cheer camp several hours away in PA. We had such a blast at the beginning and the time with the girls really was incredibly priceless. 

Unfortunately, one of the girls ended up getting really sick and about 24 hours later I ended up getting the most sick I had been in my entire life up to that point. I finally ended up in the hospital where I was diagnosed with viral meningitis. It turned out that the college campus that we stayed at had had an outbreak and had not informed all of us that were coming. The picture above is one of the ones from our first few hours on the campus... before the sickness hit. Again, precious times, but looking at the picture still makes me cringe. *hahaha*

As far as a best trip it is honestly hard to pick just one so I am sharing a bit about 9 of my favorites so far. Y'all know that I love to travel and each one trip has been sweetly different and unique with precious memories. Here are just a few of my absolute favorites (#1 and #2 are definitely tied *smiles*): 

1. Disney Cruise with Emily

I have shared about this entire cruise but it was simply wonderful. I loved every second and we had a blast starting off in Disney world and then heading on to a Disney Cruise. If you haven't been on one I can't recommend it enough- go! You can read about the cruise HERE. 

2. Royal Caribbean Cruise with my Parents

This cruise was absolutely wonderful. My parents had never been on a cruise before and when the opportunity came up to go it was a beautiful gift. We had such an incredible time and made so many different memories as we snorkeled in Nassau, relaxed and swam on Coco Cay and just had a great time laughing and being together. It was definitely a trip to remember. You can read more about it HERE.

3. California Trip in April -May 2013

This was the trip that really started my healing journey with Lyme Disease at the beginning. It is incredible to look back and think about all that transpired throughout this time including a diagnosis of Skin cancer, surgery, and the start of a healing protocol that I have no doubt saved my life. I look back at the picture of this woman sitting on a lifeguard station and can't help but smile with gratitude. I arrived in California barely able to eat and walk and arrived back home starting the process of healing. (You can read about all of the posts related to this season with this group of doctors HERE.)

4. The Start of a New Chapter in Healing with Lyme- The March 2014 California Trip

This trip was filled with high anticipation as I flew back across the country (this time to San Francisco) to see a new doctor. By the time I arrived I was incredibly weak and very sick and to be frank... extremely afraid of what was to come. I knew that my body was dying and I had recently been rejected by Cleveland Clinic as a patient as I was told that my case was "to complicated". I arrived, met my doctor, said something brave like, "if you can't help me and I am going to die just let me know now". Now for the record she was number 325 of doctors I had seen about Lyme so I was VERY skeptical going into the appointment and I was trying not to cry as I was afraid to hope that they really could help me. She looked at me, didn't say anything for a few moments, and then said, "We will beat this. Your case is complicated but with hard work you will not die from this. It is going to take a long time and the fight will be the hardest thing you have ever done, but I will help you get your life back." To which I broke down and sobbed as my new kind-hearted doctor handed me a box of tissues. It has been three years and she has never once broken that promise. (You can read more about my first appointment HERE. It is amazing to see how far the Lord has brought me since that time!)

5. The June 2016 Trip to Get "Courtney the Portney"

This trip I thought was going to be one of the worst trips... flying across the country to test dose extremely high dose medications and to get a port placed are not the typical "fun trip". But despite this and despite the circumstances of the trip the Lord provided some beautiful opportunities for my mom and I to see incredible beauty as we traveled along Highway 1, saw Muir Woods, and visited Lake Tahoe. As I look back on that trip I have to smile at the symbolism of God bringing beauty despite the darkness.

6. Senior Trip 2009

This senior trip was one of my absolute favorites and such an incredibly special time. While the pranks may have gone a bit wrong with the "London Bombing Night" (hahaha- Kaara, "now that, that is getting annoying... hahahaha) and the chairs that wouldn't stay on the roof that we did some cheerleading moves to get up there, and the schools credit cards not working when we went to purchase food... the laughter, the talks, the evening spent sharing thanks and love for each person in the room remains one of my favorite memories of life let alone a trip. The pictures above capture a few of the moments, but all of them will stay treasured in my heart forever. I love you guys. (PS- This is the class that I dedicated my book, December Caravan to which you can read more about HERE.)

7. Disney with Friends

This trip holds such precious memories to me as we had such a beautiful day in the park. I love these ladies and it was a sweet and fun day filled with lots of laughter, lots of fun, and lots of time to create beautiful memories that I will treasure forever. You can read more about this beautiful time HERE.