Caravan Sonnet: The Dance of Healing

8/23/18

The Dance of Healing

Those of you who know me well know that I have a complete love affair with hiking & being out in nature. Not having the ability to do this these last 7 years has been one of the hardest things in this journey & the source of many tears. 

Despite some well-known doctors saying that I would never be able to hike again (or walk properly at one point), this has remained a dream that I continued to fight for. It started SLOWLY with learning to walk down our hallway, to months just walking to the mailbox (which exhausted my fragile body), to small walks around the neighborhood (often leaning on someone) to finally starting to jog & run again in small bits this summer. And then this summer...has held some miracles... including hiking this "steep & difficult" trail while I was in Alaska.

I have been thinking about this hike a lot recently. Yes, the views we're stunning, but at the end it was such a narrow & steep incline that only one person at a time could hike to the top (or go down). So you had to wait & as I stood there waiting I started sobbing. I wasn't at the top yet, but could see it was so close. And then it was my turn & I made it. All of the years of getting to this point hit me & I just cried.

It has also given me pause in reflecting on this stage of the healing journey...able to start to enjoy some long -awaited moments & yet held caught in an undetermined waiting period for others (including completing treatment, a full-time job, etc). The waiting is a dance I am still learning & yet like this hike will have an ending more stunning than I can imagine. 

I hear so many stories from people who receive criticism for their health journeys. I know it can be difficult to understand my health journey...to see me travel & yet not be able to "fully" live. And yet...I am met by love & kind understanding that there is a LOT that goes into these writing trips I never share. Your encouragement to live has been priceless. Thank you for helping me write my story to one of hope & rejoicing in the healing that has come & is still to come...and for helping carry me up the mountains.

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