Showing posts with label the single journey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the single journey. Show all posts
-Isaiah 62:12-
One of the most difficult times for some in the single journey can be during Valentine's, especially the week and day of. On this day of “love” with all of the red, all of the balloons, all of the heart candy, all of the flowers, and all of the expressions of romantic love, it can be easy as a single gal to sometimes just want to curl up in bed and pull a quilt over my head until Valentine's Day has passed.
Valentine's Day as a single lady can feel like a day where singleness is written with a capitol “S” on my forehead and everyone knows that I am “alone”. I struggle and yet, feel challenged to pray as I know the truth that I can act out on my feelings towards this day and live in "loneliness" or I can embrace the truth of God's word, knowing that I am "sought after" and loved.
I am loved by the Lord.
Scripture says that I am loved beyond measure, that I am loved more dearly than I could ever imagine. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) I am not loved for a short time but forever by the Lord. I love how Jeremiah 31:3 states: “I have loved you with an everlasting love…".
Our time and circumstances here on earth are temporary, but the Lord's love lasts forever. We may not feel special on Valentine's Day, but we are to the Lord. “I will make you like my signet ring, for I have chosen you.” (Haggai 2:23)
One of my most favorite verses as a single gal is from Isaiah 62:12: “You will be called Sought After.” Don't we all want to be 'sought after'?!?! I know that I do!!
Valentine's Day as a single lady can feel like a day where singleness is written with a capitol “S” on my forehead and everyone knows that I am “alone”. I struggle and yet, feel challenged to pray as I know the truth that I can act out on my feelings towards this day and live in "loneliness" or I can embrace the truth of God's word, knowing that I am "sought after" and loved.
I am loved by the Lord.
Scripture says that I am loved beyond measure, that I am loved more dearly than I could ever imagine. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) I am not loved for a short time but forever by the Lord. I love how Jeremiah 31:3 states: “I have loved you with an everlasting love…".
Our time and circumstances here on earth are temporary, but the Lord's love lasts forever. We may not feel special on Valentine's Day, but we are to the Lord. “I will make you like my signet ring, for I have chosen you.” (Haggai 2:23)
One of my most favorite verses as a single gal is from Isaiah 62:12: “You will be called Sought After.” Don't we all want to be 'sought after'?!?! I know that I do!!
As we wait in this single season let us trust that the Lord has a beautiful story, and that we are preciously sought after. Even this Valentine's Day where we are single the Lord is crafting a beautiful and miraculous story for our romantic lives. On this Valentine's Day, rest in this precious truth that you are loved, forever, immensely, passionately, and most of all that you are sought after.
Looking for more encouragement for the Single Journey? Click HERE!
If you aren't already... let me encourage you to be praying for your future spouse every single day. Several years ago on the blog I mentioned that I pray for my future husband (and frequently write him notes, cards, and prayers) on a daily basis. I shared 10 Things to Pray for your (future) Husband in a post on the blog which you can find HERE. These posts were followed up over the years with several other posts including:
//10 MORE things to Pray for Myself as a (future) wife //
//10 Things to Pray for Myself as a (future) wife //
// 10 MORE things to Pray for Your Future Husband //
// 10 Things to Pray for Your Future Husband //
//10 Things to Pray for Myself as a (future) wife //
// 10 MORE things to Pray for Your Future Husband //
// 10 Things to Pray for Your Future Husband //
I hope that they are an encouragement to you during your single journey!
*picture found on internet- no source credit given*
Happy Sunday friends- this remains one of my most read posts with thousands and thousands of reads and today I wanted to share it again in the hopes that it might encourage you today to be praying for yourself as a (future) wife. Here is the original post with a few updates:
//10 MORE things to Pray for Myself as a (future) wife //
//10 Things to Pray for Myself as a (future) wife //
// 10 MORE things to Pray for Your Future Husband //
// 10 Things to Pray for Your Future Husband //
//10 Things to Pray for Myself as a (future) wife //
// 10 MORE things to Pray for Your Future Husband //
// 10 Things to Pray for Your Future Husband //
Today I wanted to share 10 things I pray for myself as a future wife:
One- I pray that I bring my future husband "good, not harm, all the days of my life". (Proverbs 31:12) One of the ways that I can do this is to recognize that my husband (no matter how special and wonderful he may be) will never be able to fulfill or be "everything". Only the Lord can do that.
Two- I pray that I will release any and all expectations of what I hope my marriage will look like, and pray that the Lord will give me a vision for marriage that is based on His word alone.
Three- I pray that I would be obedient to the ways of the Lord and that I would follow the Lord in all of His ways. (Psalm 25:4-5)
Four- I pray that the Lord will take away all of my selfish nature and replace with the fruits of the spirit which include, "love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23) Along with this, I specifically pray that I would always have life-giving and redeeming words that I would speak to my husband.
Five- I pray that I would be set free from fears that I may have- and that I would find complete deliverance from my fears in the Lord's love (I John 4:18). I pray that I would be "clothed in strength and dignity so that I can laugh at the days to come". (Proverbs 31:25)
Six- I pray that I would remain pure and would be free in forgiveness from any past decisions (Isaiah 43:18-19). I also pray that I would be free from temptation (current and in the future). (Romans 12:9)
Seven- I pray that I will live a life of forgiveness and repentance "so that my sins are wiped out, and that times of refreshing may come from the Lord" (Acts 3:19). The last thing that I want to do is to be a bitter and unforgiving wife.
Eight- I pray that my heart would be sensitive to the things of the Lord and that my talk would reflect my heart. (Proverbs 4:23 and Psalm 34:12-13) I pray that I would know my purpose clearly and where the Lord is calling me. (Psalm 20:4) I pray that even now the Lord would bless my future marriage with clear direction (Amos 3:3) and that the Lord would "perfectly join together in the same mind and same judgment" (I Corinthians 1:10) my husband and I so that we are completely united in the Lord.
Nine- I pray that the Lord would help me develop a life that develops trust in all of my relationships so that my husband may develop complete trust in me one day so that I may "greatly enrich his life" (Proverbs 31:11)
Ten- I pray that I will develop into a virtuous and capable wife (Proverbs 31:10).
Are there any specific prayers that you pray for your (future) or current spouse? I would love to know!
“May He give you the desires of your heart and
make all of your plans succeed. May we shout for joy… May the Lord grant all of
your requests.”
-Psalm 20:4-5-
In this single journey it can seem that we have had to give up so many hopes, dreams, and desires for the present, and if we are honest, we may start to wonder if it will be that way for the future too. The deep longing
in our hearts to married cuts to the deep as we literally ache to see our dreams of being married come to pass.
Right now, as a single woman it can seem like
as the days pass, so are our dreams passing us by and it can break our hearts. God promises that if we “take delight in You, You will give us the desires of
our hearts”. (Psalm 37:4) I want to delight in the Lord alone but sometimes my
desires and dreams for my future seem to loom before me and take my eyes off of
Him. In these times I pray that the Lord would give me a heart for Him alone. When the ache to be married overwhelms me, I ask the Lord for comfort. I also pray that He would take my eyes
off of marriage and a husband and all that I think I am missing out on because I am single
and put them back on Him completely.
This is not about losing
the desires of our hearts, but instead it is about surrendering to His love and His plans. Let us pray to do this with open hands, not gripping tightly to our dreams, but to the story that He is writing for us.
“For you Lord are good and what you
do is good.”
-Psalm 119:68-
Let it be God's love that we most long for. Let us give our aching hearts to Him, “the Lord is good and your love endures forever.”
(Psalm 100:5) Let us trust completely in His goodness, trusting that He has plans for us, giving us the desires of our hearts in His perfect timing.
“The Lord has forsaken me, my Lord has forgotten me.”
-Isaiah 49:14-
It seems like it goes in waves... the times where I feel forgotten in this single journey. While I deeply rejoice with all that God is doing in others lives and for the love stories that are abounding, it can be easy to feel forgotten when our prayers seemingly fall on deaf ears. Those of us that have been praying for years, or even decades for our love stories to happen can start to feel that God has forgotten us in this single journey.
It seems like it goes in waves... the times where I feel forgotten in this single journey. While I deeply rejoice with all that God is doing in others lives and for the love stories that are abounding, it can be easy to feel forgotten when our prayers seemingly fall on deaf ears. Those of us that have been praying for years, or even decades for our love stories to happen can start to feel that God has forgotten us in this single journey.
On the most difficult
days in this journey I cry out with the psalmist, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Far from my deliverance, are the words of my groaning.” (Psalm 22:1) In my
grief I cry out, “The Lord has forsaken me, and the Lord has forgotten me.”
(Isaiah 49:14)
But the beautiful thing is that when we feel this way... forgotten and forsaken and kept from our dreams the Lord quietly and lovingly answers us. He says to our hurting hearts:
“I have chosen you and
have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed,
for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with
my righteous right hand.”
-Isaiah 41:9-10-
He reminds us that we are worth
more than the sparrows that He takes care of.
“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not
one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all
numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
-Luke 12:6-7-
There is no doubt that our feelings may tell us that we have been forgotten by the Lord, but the truth is that we are not forgotten and we are not forsaken. The Lord is tenderly weaving our stories in intricate and beautiful ways. I don't know why we sometimes have to wait for the thing that we desire to come true. I don't know why the love story that you are longing for takes so long. But I do know that the Lord's timing is perfect. As one of my favorite authors says, "God's timing is flawless." I love that... God's timing is flawless friends.
Hold on to that beautiful hope today... resting secure in the fact that the Lord is at work right now crafting your story.
You are not forgotten.
You are not forsaken.
God's timing is flawless.
Struggling in feeling forgotten in the Single Journey? Here are a few things that helps me on days where I struggle with this:
1. Cry out to God.
Just like David did and many others throughout the Bible (including Hannah) cry out to Him. He promises to answer us. He promises that the hopes of the needy people will not be forgotten. (Psalm 9:18)
2. Talk with Trusted Friends
Talk and share with a trusted friend. I am so blessed by several friends who consistently love and listen to my heart in this area and also for all of their prayers for me and for my future hubby and our future family. They encourage, they speak hope when I feel none, and they courageously step into a broken hearted woman's most vulnerable place. Talking and crying with trusted friends can be a beautiful blessing when you are hurting. I shared in a post many years ago the six types of friends that every christian single gal needs in her life (you can find it HERE) and these are the trusted friends you want to pour out your heart to. They are the praying, truth-telling, loving and listening friends who will cry and weep with you while gently reminding you that God's timing is flawless.
3. Remember All that God has Done in the Past
There is something so beautiful about remembering all that God has done for us in the past isn't there? I shared before about the beautiful hope that is found in history. When I was teaching I had a verse at the front of my classroom that read, "those who are wise will see in our history the faithful love of the Lord" which comes from the Psalms. There is a power and a beautiful encouragement to remembering the past. We can see how faithfully the Lord has taken care of us, met all of our needs, and gently carried and loved us. We can also see how He has miraculously answered us... gently reminding us that He will do so again.
Today friends I am praying for you... praying that you gently are reminded that you are not forgotten in this journey and that God's timing is flawless.
(PS- If you are looking for encouragement in the single season of life you can find all of the posts that I have written on the topic of singleness HERE!)
"Rejoice with those who rejoice..."
-Romans 12:15-
There seems to be certain seasons where social media is flooded with news that people are getting engaged. It happens throughout the year of course, but it seems like there are certain times and seasons where there is an overwhelming flood of beautiful pictures of a guy down on one knee asking his beloved to spend the rest of their lives with him. It can seem like everyone that we know from co-workers, family members, friends, roommates, to the woman at the post office sharing her good news with strangers all have an exciting engagement story to share.
It is wonderful. I rejoice in all that the Lord is doing and how He is carefully scripting a new season and story for each person... and yet... it can be overwhelming and heart-wrenching to hear "one more engagement story".
I often feel a deep kinship with Hannah (from the book of I Samuel) as it seems that everyone I know is getting what I so deeply long for. I come to the Lord often behind closed doors in "deep anguish, weeping bitterly" (I Samuel 1:10). "I am a woman deeply troubled... and I am pouring out my soul to the Lord." (I Samuel 1:15) As engagement news continues to pour fourth let us continue to go to the Lord in our anguish and grief. Our anguish of longing (not jealousy, but longing for the Lord to give us our hearts desire) and surrender our grief to Him. I know that I have been told before not to weep over singleness, but I do. I weep deeply, grieve the losses, and the trust God as I embrace this beautiful life that He has given me.
One of my favorite quotes by John Piper sums this up perfectly:
"Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have."
So let us weep and grieve and then embrace the beautiful lives that the Lord has given us and what He has given us right now. Let us trust and ask the Lord for courage to know that His timing is flawless and that He is directing our steps and each detail of our lives. We may long to be engaged and have a relationship right now, but for today, He has given us this gift of being single. Let us embrace it fully, not wasting it longing or wishing for a different season. For today we are given this gift. Tomorrow it may change. But we only have this day in front of us.
Living in the full trust of the Lord allows us to fully rejoice with those who are rejoicing (Romans 12:15). Not out of duty or drudgery, but out of love and trust, knowing that the Lord is guiding and directing each of our paths. For as we rejoice sweet friends, we are mostly rejoicing in the Lord. We rejoice in the way that we see the Lord at work and that gives us hope which in turn gives us joy. "The Hope of the righteous is joy" (Proverbs 10:28) and that is where we will find our joy completely. In the Lord, rejoicing in the timing and the stories that He writes each and every day.
One of the real aspects of Singleness is the issue of loneliness. Loneliness can strike has at all different times and cause a searing pain in our hearts and make singleness feel excruciating. Often times we believe that if we have another person to walk this life with then we will not "feel lonely". Often times this is true... we have someone to call or talk with at the end of the long work week, we have a partner to go to the movies with and grab dinner with, and we have someone to share and experience the joys of everyday life with.
Like many women who are single, I long to share my life with someone. I long to "live life together" and serve God with someone in our everyday lives. I long to share the celebrations and holidays with someone but even more so I long to share everyday life with someone. All of these things are natural and important.
Like many women who are single, I long to share my life with someone. I long to "live life together" and serve God with someone in our everyday lives. I long to share the celebrations and holidays with someone but even more so I long to share everyday life with someone. All of these things are natural and important.
I love that the Lord understands our hearts in this area of life. One of my favorite verses as a single lady is from Psalm 68:6: "God sets the lonely in families, He leads out the prisoners with singing." Sometimes as a single lady the loneliness that we can experience can feel like a "prison", but the beautiful thing is that we are "prisoners of hope" (Zechariah 9:12) friends. Our "prison" of singleness is not a prison of anything but hope when we place our lives in God's hands.
In this season of loneliness and singleness we must have courage to remember that God is at work, even in this difficult aspect of loneliness. One of my favorite quotes during this single season has been from Elisabeth Elliot's book, The Path of Loneliness. She says in chapter 3;
"The pain of loneliness is one way in which He wants to get our attention. We may be earnestly desiring to be obedient and holy. But we may be missing the fact that it is here, where we happen to be at this moment and not in another place or another time, that we may learn to love Him- here where it seems He is not at work, where He seems obscure or frightening, where He is not doing what we expected Him to do, where He is most absent. here and nowhere else is the appointed time. If faith does not go to work here, it will not work at all."
As we rest in this truth and this knowledge we can see that our joy is not dependent on our circumstances, as difficult as they might be, but in God who is always with us and who promises to never leave or forsake us. No matter what the world says, our single lives can be full of hope, trust, faith, and joy when we place our loneliness in God's hands. We can find joy with the psalmists verses;
“When you, God, when out before your
people, when you marche d
through the wilderness, the earth shook, the heavens poured down raid, before
God, the one of Sinai, before God, the God of Israel, you gave abundant
showers, O God. You refreshed your weary inheritance. Your people settled in
it, and from your bounty God, you provided for the poor.”
-Psalm 68:7-10-
The Lord goes before us friends, even when we feel that we are in a wilderness and refreshes our poor spirits that may be entangled with loneliness. Hold on to this precious hope friends. He is good and He is always with us and while it is important to recognize this struggle we can place this struggle in His loving hands. Loneliness, even when you get married doesn't just "go away" and learning this lesson of trusting in God and making Him our central focus and most important love now will only help to strengthen our marriages in the future. Unfortunately I have seen so many wonderful christian women enter into marriage believing that will be the "cure" for their loneliness. What an impossible thing to place on a human- something that only God can fulfill.
As we work through this real pain of loneliness let us have courage to place this area into the one who loves us more than life so that in the future we do not place this on someone who was never meant to be the "cure" for what ails us. God always is with us friends and in that we can rest joyfully. He always provides just what we need, not only physically but for our emotional needs as well, especially our lonely hearts.
Interested in checking out the resources I mentioned this post? Click on the links below:
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| picture found on internet, altered by Caravan Sonnet |
Happy Monday sweet friends! I hope that you had a wonderful weekend! It is hard to believe that the calendar days have slipped by and that we are well into December. With Christmas and New Years quickly approaching I wanted to share 10 Things to Pray for your Single Friend During the Holiday Season.
The holiday season can be a difficult and emotional time for many singles and while this doesn't address everything to pray and is definitely not a "formula" I do hope and pray that this is a good "starting point" for you to be praying for those that you love who are single.
1. Pray that your friend would feel securely and completely loved during the holiday season.
If there is ever a time that many singles struggle with feeling "alone" it is often during the holidays. There are so many parties and events to attend that you would think it would be the opposite but many times singles feel more alone than other times of the year simply because it seems that everyone has a "plus 1" to all of the company holiday parties, family gatherings, and Christmas shopping. Pray that your friend would experience the hope of the holidays and would know fully the promise of Psalm 68:6 ("God sets the lonely in families...") during the holidays.
2. Pray for their protection as they travel alone.
The holiday season is often a season ripe with lots of travel and often times singles travel alone. Pray that your friend would be protected as they come and go (Psalm 121:8) and that the Lord would watch over them (Psalm 121:5). Pray that the Lord would keep them from all harm and watch over their life. (Psalm 121:7) Pray that the Lord would place His angels around your friend as they travel and live alone. (Psalm 91:11)
3. Pray that they would see the Lord cares uniquely and lovingly for them in this season.
Listen, I love Hallmark and all of the Christmas movies that started playing the day after summer (haha I am joking but seriously) more than any girl I know, but sometimes as a single it can feel extremely discouraging to watch on TV or experience in real life all of the romance and engagements that happen in the holiday season. Pray that your friend would unique see that the Lord has not forgotten them and is with them. When I think of this area I always think of the story of Hagar in the Bible (Genesis 16). The Lord provided beautifully and uniquely for this single woman. Pray that your friend would see that the God of Hagar is still the same today and is uniquely and lovingly working in this season.
4. Pray for them as they navigate a "couples world" and deal with many who have a lack of understanding for their situation.
4. Pray for them as they navigate a "couples world" and deal with many who have a lack of understanding for their situation.
I have heard it said a thousand times and I often agree... it is a couples world and the holiday season seems to intensify this with all of the "well-meaning" comments. Whether done intentionally or unintentionally this can often lead singles to navigate a host of situations that are "normal, daily events" that requires a lot of grace and a lot of strength. Many times those who are well-meaning have rash words (Proverbs 12:18) that can hurt those who are struggling with singleness. Social media explodes with engagement announcements, wedding pictures, and relationship love during the holiday season. Christmas cards with happy couples and happy family units arrive almost daily. Family members may ask, "so you are still single?" and look at you like you are an alien. All of these things can be difficult to handle. Pray that your friend finds hope in the Lord as they navigate these areas. (Psalm 3:3)
5. Pray for their Joy.
5. Pray for their Joy.
I am not saying that you pray that you friend is just "happy", but pray that your friend knows and experiences true joy during the holiday season. Pray that your friend experiences the true meaning of the holidays beyond their relationship status.
6. Pray for their self-esteem.
Look, even the most confident person who is single questions and wonders if something is "wrong" with them and that is why they are single. Many singles struggle with self-esteem whether in their looks, or feeling that something that occurred in the past makes them "unworthy" for a great relationship, or feeling that for "xyz reason" they are "not good enough". The holiday season can be particularly rough in this area! Pray that your friend would know the truth of Psalm 139:13-14 and that this would resonate in their hearts.
7. Pray for their spirits during the "questioning inquisition".
7. Pray for their spirits during the "questioning inquisition".
It always seems that people can say the most insensitive things at exactly the wrong time doesn't it? I can't say how many inappropriate things have been said to me during what I affectionately call the "questioning inquisition". From, "oh my it must be awful to still be single at your age" to "honey, you just have to lower your expectations" to "you are not married yet? I thought you would be popping out babies right out of high school" the list goes on and on. It can be pretty discouraging and I walked away from more than one holiday gathering in tears over the years. Pray that your friend would be encouraged that the Lord is guiding their romantic journey and that their hearts would be protected from discouragement. (Looking for specific ways that you can encourage your single friends at any time of the year? Check out this post HERE on how to encourage your single friends!)
8. Pray for their broken heart.
Many many many singles have experienced a broken heart and rejection in their single journey and a single can struggle with a broken heart more during the holidays than any other time. Whether this is a broken heart due to a relationship that didn't work out or the feeling of rejection by another person or the disappointment that a situation didn't "pan out" the single often feels "brokenhearted". Pray that your friend would tenderly know the loving care of God and that they would experience His healing of any brokenness that they are experiencing. (Psalm 147:3)
9. Pray for their hope.
Pray that your friend would clearly see that they have hope for every situation, including their dreams for marriage especially during the holiday season. Pray that they know the truth of Jeremiah 29:11 and that they would find their hope not in marriage but in Christ and His word alone. (Psalm 130:5) Pray that they would find comfort in in Job 42:12 and that they would be clothed in strength and dignity so that they can laugh at the days to come. (Proverbs 31:25)
10. Pray that your friend experiences God's love in unique ways this holiday season.
10. Pray that your friend experiences God's love in unique ways this holiday season.
Pray that your friend experiences love in unique and creative ways during the holiday season. Pray that your friend's hearts desires will be filled. Pray for their future spouse. Pray that the Lord's love would unique and creatively embrace your friend during this holiday season. Pray that there will be people who will love on your friend well. Pray that the Lord will give you wisdom on how you can love your single friends well during this holiday season.
Are there things that you pray for your single friends during the holiday season that could be added to this list? I would love to know! Looking for things to pray for your single friends in general? Check out this post HERE! May you be blessed as you take the time to lift up your friends in prayer! You are a blessing!!
“Nevertheless, that time of darkness and
despair shall not go on forever.”
-Isaiah 9:1-
My heart knows that the Christmas season and celebration is about Jesus, but sometimes my head gets wrapped up in all of the “festivities” that I long to experience with someone. My prayer constantly is: "Lord, help me to remember that this holiday season isn’t about a TV movie and a relationship with a guy but about my relationship with you."
On the other hand, while I struggle in this season, this season of advent is so powerful and hopeful to my life as a single woman. The word “advent” is defined as a “time of expectant waiting and preparation”. It is applicable to my life in so many ways and have shared about its special significance in my book, "When Light Dawns". I often feel that being single in this holiday season is like walking through a dark tunnel and that is why one of my favorite verses is from Isaiah 9: “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.”
A light will dawn and just like this advent season is a expectant waiting and preparation, so is this season as a single lady. "If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently." (Romans 8:24-25) The longer we wait for something, the more joyful our expectancy and confident we can be. Since the fall we have waited and longed for a Redeemer. As I share in my upcoming book, "Prayers for the Single Journey" (releasing February 2023), I feel that many times I am wanting to be “saved from singleness” but no man can do that for me. Only Jesus is the Lord and Savior.
As we wait in this single season let us trust that the Lord has a beautiful outcome, a miraculous story for our romantic lives. And just like those long ago, we will find hope in the truth that, even the dark tunnel we may feel we are in will not last forever. “Nevertheless, That time of darkness and despair shall not go on forever.” (Isaiah 9:1)
I can't wait to share more about this project that I have been working on for months and in many ways years! More to come but follow along on instagram and stay tuned for more to come!
I hope that in focusing on cozy luxury haven living there is encouragement for all seasons of life- no matter what stage you are currently in. Occasionally from time to time I hope to share my thoughts on the single journey and that it will encouraging when I do so! If you are single or know someone who is I hope that you will find the posts encouraging during this season.
One of the real aspects of singleness and the single journey is the issue of feeling isolation and loneliness. Loneliness can strike has at all different times and cause a searing pain in our hearts and make singleness feel excruciating. Often times we believe that if we have another person to walk this life with then we will not "feel lonely". Often times this is true... we have someone to call or talk with at the end of the long work week, we have a partner to go to the movies with and grab dinner with, and we have someone to share and experience the joys of everyday life with.
Like many women who are single, I long to share my life with someone. I long to "live life together" and serve God with someone in our everyday lives. I long to share the celebrations and holidays with someone but even more so I long to share everyday life with someone. All of these things are natural and important.
I love that the Lord understands our hearts in this area of life. One of my favorite verses as a single lady is from Psalm 68:6: "God sets the lonely in families, He leads out the prisoners with singing." Sometimes as a single lady the loneliness that we can experience can feel like a "prison", but the beautiful thing is that we are "prisoners of hope" (Zechariah 9:12) friends. Our "prison" of singleness is not a prison of anything but hope when we place our lives in God's hands.
In this season of loneliness and singleness we must have courage to remember that God is at work, even in this difficult aspect of loneliness. One of my favorite quotes during this single season has been from Elisabeth Elliot's book, The Path of Loneliness. She says in chapter 3;
"The pain of loneliness is one way in which He wants to get our attention. We may be earnestly desiring to be obedient and holy. But we may be missing the fact that it is here, where we happen to be at this moment and not in another place or another time, that we may learn to love Him- here where it seems He is not at work, where He seems obscure or frightening, where He is not doing what we expected Him to do, where He is most absent. here and nowhere else is the appointed time. If faith does not go to work here, it will not work at all."
As we rest in this truth and this knowledge we can see that our joy is not dependent on our circumstances, as difficult as they might be, but in God who is always with us and who promises to never leave or forsake us. No matter what the world says, our single lives can be full of hope, trust, faith, and joy when we place our loneliness in God's hands. We can find joy with the psalmists verses;
“When you, God, when out before your people, when you marche d through the wilderness, the earth shook, the heavens poured down raid, before God, the one of Sinai, before God, the God of Israel, you gave abundant showers, O God. You refreshed your weary inheritance. Your people settled in it, and from your bounty God, you provided for the poor.”
-Psalm 68:7-10-
The Lord goes before us friends, even when we feel that we are in a wilderness and refreshes our poor spirits that may be entangled with loneliness. Hold on to this precious hope friends. He is good and He is always with us and while it is important to recognize this struggle we can place this struggle in His loving hands. Loneliness, even when you get married doesn't just "go away" and learning this lesson of trusting in God and making Him our central focus and most important love now will only help to strengthen our marriages in the future. Unfortunately I have seen so many wonderful christian women enter into marriage believing that will be the "cure" for their loneliness. What an impossible thing to place on a human- something that only God can fulfill.
One way practically that I have found to help with loneliness is to focus on others and to pour out the love that I long to give to my future husband onto others around me. In doing so, I have found so many important lessons for my future marriage. The focus on others takes the focus off of me and in doing so I have grown to be a more sensitive and compassionate person, a more joyful and giving person, and to see more those around me in deeper ways.
As we work through this real pain of loneliness let us have courage to place this area into the one who loves us more than life so that in the future we do not place this on someone who was never meant to be the "cure" for what ails us. God always is with us friends and in that we can rest joyfully. He always provides just what we need, not only physically but for our emotional needs as well, especially our lonely hearts.
I hope that you have a wonderful week friend and let us be encouraged to look for unique ways to love those around us who are feeling lonely themselves that we can love deeply in different ways. Also, if you are looking for posts on the single journey you can find all of them that I have written HERE.
One of the most frequently asked questions I receive is what exactly I am praying for my future husband or what people who are married can pray for their spouses. I wanted to share today just a few of the things that I pray for him (in no particular order). If you are married I highly encourage you to pray for your husband and if you are single or engaged, I encourage you to start praying for your future husband starting now! I hope that these ten things are a helpful starting point for you!
1. I pray that if he does not know the Lord that he would surrender his life to the Lord and if he does know the Lord as his personal savior that he would grow in his relationship with the Lord daily.(John 3:16)
2. I pray that I would begin to even now prepare to be a good wife for my husband and would treat him with loving actions- in my words and deeds, and that I would give him the respect, love, and graciousness that is due to him everyday.(Proverbs 31:10-31) (If you are looking for specific things I pray for myself as a wife you can check out my post entitled, 10 Things to Pray for Myself as a (Future) Wife which you can find HERE or my post from last year, 10 MORE things to pray for myself as a future wife which you can find HERE. )
3. I pray that his self-image and identity would be found in Christ alone and I also pray for the work that he does. (This may seem strange to tie these two together but I have know so many men that struggle with making work their identity.)
4. I pray that he would remain pure and would be free from any past decisions. (Isaiah 43:18-19) I also pray that he would be free from temptation (current and in the future). (Romans 12:9)
5. I pray that he would be obedient to the ways of the Lord and that he would follow the Lord in all of his ways. (Psalm 25:4,5)
6. I pray that he would be set free from fears that he may have: of his career, future, present, past, etc. I pray that he would find deliverance from his fears in the Lord's love. (I John 4:18)
7. I pray that his heart would be sensitive to the things of the Lord and that his talk would reflect his heart. (Proverbs 4:23 and Psalms 34:12-13)I pray that he would know his purpose clearly and where the Lord is calling him. (Psalm 20:4)
8. I pray that he would have good health. (3 John 1:2)
9. I pray that the Lord would comfort him and sustain him during any trials that he is dealing with currently. (Psalm 46:1)
10. I pray that the Lord would bless him with amazing godly friends. I pray that he will also have good relationships with everyone that is in his life.
If you are looking for some additional thoughts you can find my post, I also have shared 10 More Things to Pray for Your Future Husband which can be found HERE! Are there any specific prayers that you pray for your future spouse about? I would love to hear what things you pray for! Please share with us in the comments!
In honor of their anniversary four years ago I shared a post entitled "44 tips to have a happy marriage for 44 years" that has remained one of my most popular posts. Today, in honor of their anniversary I wanted to re-share these 44 tips with you about having a marriage that will not only go the distance, but will be a beautiful story that I have learned from them. |
1. Have a marriage centered on Jesus.
2. Laugh. A lot.
3. Realize what is important and let everything else go.
4. If your marriage is in trouble seek help.
5. Go on dates - at least once a week. (Don't have money for a date? My parents don't either and are constantly being creative with what to do. Look for free events in your area (i.e.- events at a local college, high school, church, etc.), pack a picnic lunch or dinner, go for a walk in a new park that you have not explored, etc.)
6. Be creative.
7. Be intentional.
9. Fight fairly (stick to the subject at hand).
10. Listen. Listen. Listen.
11. Put the other person first.
12. Always remember that life is found in the little moments.
13. Never give your spouse the chance to wonder if you are cheating.
14. Do not ever let pornography become a substance in your house.
15. Never let children divide you and never speak ill of your spouse to your children.
16. Never let the "D" word (divorce) be uttered. The minute that you allow that you start down a road that you do not want to go on.
17. Pray together.
18. Go to church together.
19. Have Godly friends who you can encourage you along the way.
20. Recognize that life (and marriage is hard).
21. Respect him ladies.
22. Love her completely gentleman.
23. Celebrate the big moments.
24. Rejoice with each others successes.
25. Support each other.
26. Understand his job.
27. Love her hearts passions.
28. Understand security is very important for a woman.
29. Take time to talk everyday. (Maybe this means shutting off the TV or turning off the internet - do whatever needs to be done to talk everyday!)
30. If you watch TV, watch TV you both enjoy.
31. Dance in the house
32. Turn off the phone, internet, blackberry, ipad, computer, etc..
33. Enjoy each others presence.
34. Kiss often.
35. Never hang up the phone or leave without saying "I love you".
36. Live life knowing how short it is.
37. Realize that after you have kids you will still be a couple so don't wait eighteen years to keep falling more in love.
38. Never stop flirting.
39. Hold hands whenever possible.
40. Cook for her, clean up for her, do the wash, etc.- Find something she hates to do and do it for her often without being asked.
41. Ladies, don't nag.
42. Find out something he loves to do and encourage it to the fullest.
43. Cry together, not with your friends, or brushing it off. Face life together.
44. Remember that life is fleeting and in the end the only thing that matters is love.
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! I love you guys so much!
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