Caravan Sonnet: notes from the porch {three} AND an exciting announcement!

8/21/13

notes from the porch {three} AND an exciting announcement!

I have sat here for a full thirty minutes looking at the screen and I still seem to be at a loss for words. I want to write something to express my humble and grateful thank you for ALL of your lovely support, prayers, and kindness this past week and yet I am not even sure how to adequately do that. So I will just say a simple "thank you" and trust that you know my heart that is so so grateful for each of you.

As I mentioned in my "notes from the porch" (health update) last week I expressed that I had been having some stomach pain that I would appreciate prayer for. It was my assumption that it was simply a reaction to the chelation treatments that I had started. After adjusting the dosage of the chelation treatments I hoped and assumed that this would settle down. Unfortunately on Friday morning things went from bad to worse. I became incredibly sick and when I was still sick on Saturday my dad took me to the Emergency Room. 

After all of the tests were taken we learned that I had contracted a bacterial infection in my gut. We believe this came from some bad food when we have eaten out several times in the last couple of weeks. My dad hadn't felt great either recently, but my immune system simply couldn't handle this and basically collapsed and developed this infection. After being informed of my complicated case details (with the Lymes and Cancer) the ER doctor was very leery to proscribe me an antibiotic due to his concern that it would activate my body fighting those things instead of the specific infection. I was in complete agreement with him on this. While we tried to reach my doctor there were some complications due to a miscommunication and I agreed with the ER doctor that for the moment we should just try to treat the infection symptomatically and obtain an antibiotic from my Lymes doctor on Monday morning. (Now before I receive a ton of emails on this point I just have to say that if you are a chronically ill person you understand exactly why I made this decision. If you aren't it is probably a little difficult to understand but the best way to say this is that there is ALWAYS the fear that Lymes and Cancer patients have of developing further infections. It is such a tightrope balance to press forward with one thing and have to deal with another. Please just trust me that this was the wisest decision that we could have made at the time.) Sunday and Monday were extremely difficult days and unfortunately after having a reaction to one of the drugs that I am on Monday evening (because it should be taken with food and water and I had not been able to keep anything in me for more than 15 minutes) Monday night was the roughest night of my life. We went back to the Emergency Room yesterday for more IV fluids and more anti-nausea meds (through the IV which are stronger) and I was able to have a couple of other doctors appointments also. I am so thankful to report that by yesterday evening I had kept down a couple of bites of food and also some sips of water. As I sit here this morning typing this (from the porch *smiles*) I am also incredibly thankful for all of the prayers that were answered as I slept for six hours straight for the first time in six days. 

PRAISE GOD. 

I appreciate your continued prayers as I heal from this infection and ultimately the Lymes and Cancer. Thank you for ALL of your prayers!

I won't lie to you. While I have left out a lot of details that I don't care to relive and don't want to have my friends read, these past five days have been some of the hardest physically and emotionally that I have had in many many many months. There have been countless tears shed, outbursts of anger and yelling at God, and discouragement at this "one more thing". I admit that I even have said several times, "this just isn't fair". It seems like every time that we make some small steps forward we take HUGE steps backwards. THAT is difficult physically. But emotionally it is sometimes heart-wrenching. This week is not what I envisioned originally sharing with you sweet friends. And to be honest I wrestled with the Lord over the verse that states: "Do not say why were the old days better than these..." (Ecclesiastes 7:10) as I knew that at my former job they were on the high school retreat making wonderful memories and my heart ached to be there. 

AND...

 once again I am learning the ancient truth that the Lord is near to the broken-hearted. As I look back on these five days and could think about all of the impossible difficulties that accompanied each day I  instead think of the incredible mercy that surrounded each moment. I do not have a nice little reason for why the Lord allowed this, but instead realize that we live in a sinful and broken world and sickness is unfortunately apart of that. Yes, I am discouraged that this will set me back in my healing process but no I am not in despair. Even when it seems like our precious God is silent He can be found shouting to us in our pain through a thousand different things if we let our hearts look to Him. Long ago I made the decision that my life was in the Lord's hands and it is at HIS feet that I fall. I yield to HIM everything- and whether that is to suffer, live, or die- my life is in His hands. And oh sweet friends, what a precious place for us to live. There are no regrets there. My eyes are not on my circumstances, but on the living God, who controls every circumstance. I have had the privilege of knowing Jesus as my Lord for twenty-seven years. He has never let me go. While the days may be hard, our precious Lord never promised us "all good days". He has promised me that He would never leave me or forsake me and THAT is what I cling to. If you are going through a dark day my sweet friends, I am so so sorry. May God touch your heart in the precious ways that only He can. 

Sometimes those ways can be completely unexpected. Like receiving a Facebook message from a former student:
Truly a message that not only spoke to my heart, but touched my life beyond belief. When I read it this morning I cried. What a beautiful God-thing. (And I definitely whispered a prayer to have the opportunity to visit at least once FCS this year!)

And other completely unexpected gifts in the middle of this caravan. I am so excited and honored to share with y'all an update on a post that I wrote last month entitled "a season of new dreams". I have a HUGE smile of excitement as I share this exciting news! Last week (before the hospital visits *smiles*) it became OFFICIAL. I signed a book contract! AHH!
I am so honored to be with Tate Publishing and can't wait to share with y'all more exciting news in the days and weeks to come about this new adventure the Lord has me on! 

As I stop writing this post this morning and feel the small cool breeze on this porch grace my face, I am so incredibly grateful for each of you. Thank you so much for your prayers, support, and all of your beautiful comments that are SUCH a blessing. 
May God bless each of you for your kindness. I love y'all!

14 comments:

  1. Congrats on the book contract. So admire your heart and such beautiful wisdom that the Lord has given you - He is with you every second of the day. Continuing to pray for wisdom!

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  2. Ahhh blessings to you beautiful friend! SOOO happy and excited for this book contact:) You are such an inspiration. Praying for you!!! Love Katie

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  3. Yayyy! On the book! I'm so excited for you!! Please let me know if I can help in any way at all! And booooo on the continued health stuff. I'm so sorry, sweet friend. I am praying for a speedy recovery, on all accounts!! Be blessed, ~M

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  4. That is so exciting!! You have such a great outlook and I hope you know your strong faith and courage is a light for others around you.

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  5. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I will be praying for continued and complete healing. Congrats on your book contract!!

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  6. so exciting! what wonderful news among the medical going ons. i can only imagine how difficult it must be, and hope you keep looking forward friend. Jesus is the ultimate healer.

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  7. EEEK! Congrats on the book contract! :) Praying for you dear Friend! Praise God that He is The Healer of your body and the Mighty One who never leaves us and never forsakes. :)

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  8. Congratulations!! That is a HUGE deal! So excited for you, lovely :)

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  9. Congratulations on the book contract!! How exciting!
    Praying for you as you continue to recover. I'm so sorry that the past week has been SO hard, but happy that you are slowly feeling better. God truly is in the midst of the hard, dark times. He is much bigger than the hardships. Thank you for that reminder :]
    I hope the light continues to outshine the darkness as you continue on your journey.

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  10. SO excited about your book!

    And it's heart-wrenching to hear of all you are going through. Chin up, sweet friend. Don't know if this will be an encouragement to you or not, but it was to me when I had malaria--somehow it set my faith up on its feet and brought hope back into the picture. http://www.cmalliance.org/resources/archives/downloads/simpson/the-gospel-of-healing.pdf

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  11. Praying for your health! Congrats on the book contract.... SO exciting!

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  12. I am so sorry to hear about the rough several days you've had, Rebecca! How you cling to Jesus is such an encouragement and a witness for Him! So thankful you're feeling a bit better-praying for your continued improvement!

    Also, I am so, so excited and happy for your on your book deal!!!!! So wonderful!!! I'm already looking forward to reading it. :)

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  13. Girl, you are just full of joy and blessings! No matter how the dim the days might get, you never loose hope, never fault from the one who protects! I'm so grateful that you're back at the front porch taking in the breeze and sweet air :)) CONGRATS on your book signing!!! This is amazing!!! You're already empowering so many lives by sharing your story here, I can only imagine the magnitude of your writings within a book!!! xoxo!

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  14. Oh Precious! I am SO sorry...:( Crying with you... Set backs are SO hard...:( And complications/infections are always scary and so difficult. I hope you're doing better now! Grateful that no matter what...our God never leaves us or forsakes us...even during those darkest moments. <3 Sending LOVE and HUGS!

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