"The Light Shines in the darkness and the darkness can NEVER extinguish it."
This precious verse is a verse that I have been clinging to, crying through, and praying through a lot in this journey, but none more so than these past four weeks. Last month I shared an updated "day in the life currently" and as y'all can see this is dramatically different then a few months ago due to additional medicines, IV therapies, shots, etc. It is extremely intense and physically and emotionally my heart has often been overwhelmed as I continue to cry out to the Lord to answer for healing. I have been trying to take each day on its own without thinking of how this will look in a week from now or even the next day. I am finding more than ever the wisdom of the verse that states that we should not worry about tomorrow as today has enough to deal with. AMEN!
I am also finding great comfort in the fact that the Light Shines in the darkness and that the darkness can NEVER extinguish it. You may have seen my post last Sunday where I shared what a beautiful metaphor that the weather has been this summer for this journey. I have also been a gal who loves nature and this summer is absolutely no different with the Lord using it to shout to my little heart, especially on rough days. The reality is that there has been a lot of storms this summer near us, specifically in the afternoon (which ironically is when I start to feel worse each day). But the other reality is that there has also been beautiful rainbows and sunsets that have absolutely been stunning. These views that follow these often violent storms remind me the beautiful truth of John 1:5. While the darkness may be all that we can see at some point in the difficult circumstances the light is never truly extinguished completely. Darkness of circumstances can simply not put out the light.
"And when darkness veils His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace..."
What a beautiful encouragement gorgeous sunsets, like this one, have been, reminding me of this truth in this difficult round of treatment as I just completed month 2. As my closest friends and family know, there has been a lot of tears, a lot of discouragement, a lot of frustration, and a lot of exhaustion. I am so thankful that we have a God whose mercies are new every morning and is not surprised by anything that catches me off guard!
This past month brought some surprises (to me) and as always I am very grateful for all of your continued prayers on this journey! Thank you sweet friends for continuing to take me to the heart of God day after day as I walk through some dark and difficult times:
(1) One of the continued prayer requests is for financial resources to help with this round of treatment. Due to some necessary changes in some treatment things are exceptionally tight and as always I am trusting that the Lord will completely provide for each step. As I mentioned in last month's post the days are quite intense with tons of traditional and alternative therapies that are designed to not only kill Lyme Disease but to help my body heal, fight back, and be given resources to make a complete recovery from the devastation that Lyme has caused.
Approximately this round of treatment will cost about $6,000 (you can read the breakdown HERE) and I am praying for a miraculous $1000 to come in to help offset the costs. It is always humbling to discuss this part of this journey and yet so many of you lovingly continue to ask how you can financially help so I will share and appreciate your kindness in understanding how difficult and humbling this area is. I have put a link to a "go fund me" page set up for this round of treatment that can be found on the left side of my blog and below and appreciate your prayers for this area.
(2) I would ask for continued prayers for specifically one of the IM shots that I take 4 days a week. This shot (administered by my amazing mama!!) causes a lot of pain and a lot of difficult side effects. I won't bore you with the details here, but I appreciate your prayers as this is incredibly difficult.
(3) Another prayer request is about another shot that I need to give myself and it is also difficult with a host of different side effects then the shot I mentioned in #2. (These two shots specifically are ones that are difficult to handle.)
(4) I would appreciate prayers for my severe exhaustion. There are literally some days that it is difficult to even sit up in bed without passing out due to exhaustion.
(5) As some of you know and have been specifically and faithfully praying for me about these past few weeks is the exceptionally difficult days that have occurred due to a sudden and drastic medication change. This medicine I have been on for a year and is something that my body needs but at this point my body started rejecting the ability to handle it and causing severe reactions. It was up and down for several weeks as I had to stop it suddenly, then we tried it at a different dose and still had reactions, tried again at yet a different and smaller dose and still had reactions so then I was pulled off it completely. At this point I will stay off of it and we are looking for some other alternatives. The truth is that this has been extremely unpleasant, extremely difficult with a lot of sickness- especially at night time, and my vertigo and dizziness are extremely difficult to handle. I would pray for complete healing from these symptoms and also complete healing from the side effects of having to stop this medication so suddenly.
(6) We are praying for the ability to fully complete this next month of treatment. For a variety of reasons that I won't go into here this is a necessary month to complete and it must be done. Thank you friends.
(7) We are praising the Lord that this week we are finishing TWO whole months of treatment being completed!! For those of you that have been following my story from the beginning you know what an incredible MIRACLE that this is. From going to having anaphylactic reactions to everything (including food) to being able to handle over 10 different antibiotics, 40 different supplements, vitamins, IV therapies, IM shots, detox shots, etc. This is truly a miracle. There are LOTS of tears that have been shed and we are rejoicing regarding this news.
(8) I would finally conclude with asking for prayers for me emotionally. Treatment, even with #7's wonderful news is .... extremely rough. I would appreciate prayers for perseverance on this journey that the Lord has set before me, strength for the physical demands, and encouragement for my discouraged heart.
Thank you so much friends for all of your love and support,