Envy in the Single Journey

August 24, 2015

“A tranquil heart gives life to the body, but envy makes the bones rot.”
-Proverbs 14:30-

One of the real aspects of the single journey (or in anyone's life!!) is the aspect of comparison and envy. Unfortunately though, as I grow older in this single journey I see more and more single women who grow envious of the relationships that they see others have and experience. Instead of rejoicing with what the Lord is doing in other's lives, they grow resentful, bitter, and even withdraw from friendships. 

Do I think that it is easy to always rejoice when I see one more friend get engaged and that is my heart's desire? Absolutely not. It can be painful, I sometimes spend a few moments crying, but as I take this to the Lord, He truly comforts me and gives me the strength to rejoice that someone has been given a new season or relationship in their life. 

I do think that there are times and places that someone can be sensitive to our hearts as single gals (as I shared about here) but if I allow envy to rule my heart I miss out on the opportunity to rejoice with those who are rejoicing and miss out on celebrating the ways that the Lord is working in someone else's life. 

The reality is that if we withdraw out of envy or comparison for what the Lord is doing in someone else's life because we long for that then we do not have love for those people and we are not acting out God's love. I Corinthians 13:4 clearly states that; “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant.”

Romans 13:13 encourages us to walk honestly with one another not with envy. In a healthy and God-honoring friendship we can feel free to express our longings and struggles knowing that our friends will pray for us and will walk along side us in our hurts while we walk alongside them, rejoicing with what God is doing in their lives. In God honoring friendships we can have freedom to find comfort, truth, and exhortation to live for Him alone. If we struggle with this area the book of James encourages us to confess this. “But if you harbor bitter envy… do not boast about it or deny the truth.” (James 3:14) 

So sweet friends, lets confess our struggle to the Lord and to those that we trust and love so that we can live in freedom. Ask the Lord to help you release your envy, not just for today but for everyday that we live. Ask Him to remove any jealous feelings you have. Ask Him to help you release any envy and lay it at His feet. As single gals lets deal with this issue now so that if we marry in the future we can take the lessons that we have learned in this area into our marriages. Let us not compare our lives or our friendships or our future relationships to others. 

God is writing our stories friends and we can rest fully in the knowledge that God is good and we have no need to be jealous of another person's story. 


  1. I feel like so far I haven't had to struggle with envy but I could see it happening as time goes on. I know God has a plan for each of my friends, including me. And I trust him. When I am afraid, I put my trust in him. Psalm 56:3

    1. Aww thank you for sharing your thoughts on this Nina! I admire the way that you have not struggled in this area and find that such an encouragement! I also love the verse that you shared! Psalm 56:3 is one of my absolute favorites!! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and for taking the time to leave a comment! You are a blessing!
      :) Rebecca

  2. Love this, Rebecca, you have such a beautiful attitude in the wait!

    1. Aww thank you so much for your sweet words! I definitely have had my cry fests like everyone when we are waiting for something but one of my prayers is that I wouldn't miss out on seeing the beautiful blessings that the Lord has given me despite my longings in this one area. Thank you so much for your encouragement and for taking the time to comment!!
      Blessings sweet mama!
      Rebecca :)

  3. This is so true...! We have to let go of the jealousy we feel because are all walking our own separate paths and we have to take comfort in knowing that we all move at different paces...

    1. ​Thank you so much for taking the time to comment Julie! I so appreciate your thoughts! I definitely agree with you! Letting go of jealousy as we all walk our own separate paths is so important!! Thank you again for commenting!

      Rebecca :)​

  4. I resonate with you on this subject! Especially at my age (31), it can get particularly hard.