first day of summer reflections | Caravan Sonnet

first day of summer reflections

June 22, 2019

Yesterday marked another painful and difficult "first" as we welcomed in the first official day of summer (one of my daddy's favorite days)...a summer that held grand and beautiful plans (including celebrating my parents 50th wedding anniversary)and adventures of all kinds...all changed & difficult ...and all having been replaced by a deep darkness... 

earlier yesterday evening I saw my mom looking at a "rescue plant" (those who know us well know we love the beautiful flowers, but always bring some sad and dying rescue plants to the cabin each year to nurse them to health)...

I asked her what she was doing & she said "looking for new growth... looking for another symbol of hope"...

and that is how I see my amazing mom living in her deep grief and sadness... looking for symbols of hope & life...

so many of you have asked how we are doing...and it is difficult to answer ...but we are spending these minutes...these hours & days... looking for hope, marveling at the words that come "at just the right time", the answered prayers of big & small things...

trusting our broken hearts to the one who loves us and is carrying us through, fighting the fears of "what will happen next" by clinging to truth, crying and weeping in the pain and fear of our shattered worlds...tears falling more often than not...and trusting the Lord for our very weary hearts and bodies as we take each new step of a day... drawing into the darkness where light can still be found.

If you are walking in the darkness like we are...I am so so sorry...it feels like the "bright light of summer" is such a stark contrast to the pain... clinging with you to the grace that will continue to meet us in the deep darkness.

Moses drew into the deep darkness because God was there... 
-Exodus 20-

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