Lack of Understanding in the Single Journey

July 11, 2016

picture found on Grace Engaged, altered by Caravan Sonnet
“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts….”
-Proverbs 12:18-

One of the real aspects of walking in the single journey is dealing with a lack of understanding for this season of life. The heart break of when nasty or insensitive words are spoken show a lack of understanding. I truly believe that at the core people are not trying to be mean or hurtful, but unfortunately comments about "why are you so picky?" or "its just not the right timing" or when people try to jokingly comment on an aspect of singleness, or simply when they are trying to say something "helpful" can hurt the tender heart of a single. 

I never knew until walking this single journey how much, "death and life are in the power of the tongue..." (Proverbs 18:21) Words that are all too common speak “death” and not “life” to this season. This past year I was the recipient of some extremely hurtful words that I can only imagine were intended to hurt and destroy.

It can be easy to grow bitter and have our hearts be hardened by these comments, but friends, let me encourage you to forgive those who have hurt you with their words. Let us ask the Lord to help us forgive and move forward in grace. (If you are struggling with forgiveness I strongly encourage you to read the post, "Forgiveness in the Single Journey" that I wrote last year. You can find it HERE.) 

Let us ask the Lord to put a shield around us to protect our hearts from careless words. “But thou Oh Lord are a shield around me…” (Psalm 3:3) As I pray for this, I not only find my heart is free to love, free to live in the hope of the Lord, but also free to extend grace. 

I am also convicted of my own careless words. My words that I speak that unintentionally hurt those who are struggling in seasons of difficulty. It may not be a season of waiting for a husband that they are struggling with, but no matter the struggle, I want my words to be seasoned with grace. I ask the Lord to help me to remember that my own words have the power of life and death to others and their situations that I don’t fully understand or haven’t experienced. 

One of my prayers these past couple of years has been: "Lord, teach me to not speak death over my situation or another’s situation. Lord, teach me to choose life with my words everyday- in regards to my singleness and hope for a husband and my future. Lord, help me to speak life words every single time when I am speaking to others." 

A verse that I have written many times in my journal and that is up around my home is from Deuteronomy 30:19. It states: “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses...Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” (Deuteronomy 30:19) Seeing this verse reminds me that I want to choose life in all situations. It reminds me of the power of speaking what “is good for building up, as fits the occasion” (Ephesians 4:29). 

God is a God of life and my pray is that my heart would overflow and speak this truth. My dear friends- hold onto the hope and truth that the Lord understands our hurting hearts when careless words are spoken. He understands our heartache over the lack of understanding that we sometimes experience. He understands the times we weep throughout this journey. God is always with us friends... let the prayers of our hearts be to have greater compassion for those walking through difficult situations and that our own words would bring life to each situation we encounter. 

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” 
-Psalm 19:14-

1 comment

  1. Well I chose a celibate single life minus the nun-hood so I get where the sad statements of even strangers over hearing you are single and 'not with with child' come from. Just this year a Seventh Day Adventist handing out their magazines as I walked home asked me if I was married and when I said no her response was practically some kind of condolences. I told my mother a while later and she pretty much said the lady was an idiot (that's the kind version of what my sweet 61 year old mother said). Walk with God all your life and wishing you all the best.