thoughts on unique moments in difficult days

July 25, 2019

Caravan Sonnet Blog
I saw this unique little drop of water on this bright green leaf among all the brown and thought: what a beautiful illustration this is for this season... bright spots and unique moments in the midst of very difficult days.

Recently we have been talking a lot about the concept of defiantly choosing joy and refusing to allow bitterness to take one little drop of our thoughts and energy and brain space... especially in relation to other people's comments or lack of support and absence in this grieving and mourning time...

This has been on my heart because I have received numerous messages from some of you feeling so lost because of the lack of support/insensitive comments in your grief... *sigh* I am so sorry. I understand how it is so hard and have had some tears/hurt feelings myself in this process which is complicated to explain...

And it is tempting to stay in those places and let bitterness grow...where we focus so much on what we feel robbed of instead of looking at the blessings...

I was recently talking with a friend who has endured unimaginable tragedy and she reminded me to grab onto the beauty that is still floating around us...and boy as I look for is there...

*in the beauty of a dear lifelong relationship allowing me to cry & mourn a specific decision despite the late hour
*in tears & laughter intertwined
*in answered prayers
*in people who choose to inconvenience themselves to step into our grief despite the "happy summertime"
*in visitors who bring love and encouragement
*in long dinner conversations about other matters of the heart
*in text messages from dear ones caring enough to remember me
*in the symbolism of a bright green leaf and a unique water drop.

If you are mourning, I hope you are encouraged tonight that you can (despite what you may hear) grab defiantly onto life and beauty without bitterness at the insensitive comments/advice or lack of support you are experiencing... I am learning that honoring those we dearly loved and lost is a way of creating a legacy that is built out of the purest form of accepting/unconditional love.

"I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process." 
-CS Lewis-
from his book, a grief observed

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