Caravan Sonnet: the earrings

5/29/18

the earrings

Four years ago it became painfully obvious that it would be impossible for me to use oral antibiotics as part of my healing protocol for Lyme. My gut & entire digestive system had been to damaged handle them.

My medical team made the decision that we would proceed with treatment through shots for an entire summer & then proceed with a PICC line (#nicthepicc) (which was placed in October 2015) & possibly a PORT (#courtneytheportney - which did come in June 2016). 

Those days of incredible sickness, incredible pain, & incredible despair were beyond physically painful, they were emotionally some of the most difficult in my health journey. They were hours upon hours, days upon days, and months upon months of being home bound & bedridden.

On one particular day, I personally needed to pick up some additional medicine so my mom drove (I was unable to drive during this season) us to Target. As we slowly made our way to the pharmacy section of the store we passed the jewelry display & my eyes immediately saw these beautiful earrings. I touched them with tears, knowing it was silly to be looking at earrings during this season of my life. I reluctantly put them back, silently remembering the days of old feeling like "a girl". 

We picked up the meds & slowly made our way back to the car. As I got in my mom said that she would be back in a few moments & returned to the store. Several minutes later she came back to the car & handed me a small bag. Inside were these precious earrings, the ones I had looked at. My mom proceeded to say that these earrings were a symbol of drawing a line in the sand of how low things were with treatment & the fragile hope of healing to come. 

I wore those earrings everyday for a year & on Friday I did again. Every time I do, I am overwhelmed with how incredibly grateful & humbled I am for all of the healing that has taken place & still will come. They also gently remind me to live constantly in hope in ALL situations, no matter what the circumstances look like currently.

Hope always friends, & draw a line today, where years from you can remember the dark moments where you held onto the hope that circumstances would change despite the seemingly impossible.

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