a tough but necessary decision

I am learning a life decision again this week... the reality that we only have so many hours in each day to accomplish the things that the Lord puts before us. And I am learning that business and having a lot of things to do is not always the healthiest decision... not just when you are seriously ill like I am, but for everyday... in each of our lives. At some point we have to acknowledge the actual amount of hours we have in each day and make tough decisions on what we are going to spend our energy (or in my case very limited energy on). And this week I had to make several difficult decisions on where my time was going to be spent. 

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, a day in my life currently, doesn't leave much time for me to accomplish all of the things that I want to do. There is a lot of time that is being spent on treatment, rest, and all of the necessary components to fight these diseases. This takes an incredibly amount of energy and discipline every single day. I might not "feel" like doing a detox bath twice a day or taking all of the necessary medications (and dealing with their side effects) or even taking my naps but if I want to get better all of these things are necessary components to meet the end goal. 

Part of that is hard to recognize... I like many others who are sick want to live a relatively "normal" life but as I sat in one of my ten doctors appointments for this week alone on Monday I had to acknowledge that what I want and what the reality is are two completely different things. The truth is hard and difficult... but the truth is also freeing. 

With that realization and the acknowledgement that this treatment plan is "kicking my butt" (as we say here in the south) I had to start thinking about the priorities that I have in my life and what they are in a more "fine toothed way".  In addition to meeting my requirements for treatment I must have time to spend with Jesus (which is a non-negotiable for me), have time for quality prayer, I want to have the energy to be able to carry conversations with my family, have the energy to chat and write letters with my close friends, have the energy to give several quality hours to SEEN Gathering each week, complete my work for CRATE 526 and Adopt-a-Platoon, work on my writing (for my upcoming books and for this blog) and work on continuing to develop my shop. 

And the rest of the things that I am doing will have to go. 

*smiles* I think a lot of times people think that people who are seriously ill sit around watching a lot of TV and "get to take naps" and it is like a season "off of life". This may be true for some people, but honestly in my journey, I have yet to meet someone who likes either of those things. TV gets really old (even if you are not like me and liked TV before you got sick) and naps... well let me tell you they are not all that they are cracked up to be. 

Most people who are sick are living life the best that they can and like everyone else must take time to evaluate what is going to "make the cut" of where we will spend energy. 

So while there are a hundred little things that I closed the door on this week one of the big ones is the end of the Parcel Post Tribe. I shared with the Parcel Post Tribe Members this week that this has been a decision that has actually been a long time coming but I was hoping it would "make the cut". But honestly there are several different reasons that this is the best decision right now. One of course is my health and another was the cost of making the cards and the cost of shipping. Unlike some other monthly card services, the Parcel Post Tribe was a monthly card service with ALL handmade cards (every single part) which took a ton of time and also made the cost of shipping more expensive. 

I tried in the last couple of months to "simplify" my cards so that the shipping would be lower but in doing so I feel like a "piece of December Caravan" is being lost. So the end of the Parcel Post Tribe (at least for now) has come. I do apologize to some of you that had written me emails in the last several weeks about becoming a member and I didn't respond until this week explaining my decision. I appreciate your compassionate and understanding heart about this. 

As we head into this weekend I am so thankful for the Lord's love and leading in all areas of our lives, especially in regards to things that are best for us. I pray that as I have found you will find peace to make the tough decisions and let certain things go so that you can be abundantly free to chase after the dreams and spend time with the people you love the most.