The Invisible Boundary: Helping Someone When They're Destroying Their Life (But You Can't Step In)

September 11, 2018

It's heartbreaking to see someone when they are deteriorating, either in a physical sense
through a health condition, or in an emotional sense, and we want to help them,
but there is an invisible line that we can't step over. Helping someone, either when they're
going through a difficult time, or they are destroying their life, is something that
isn't our problem to solve. That person might not want our help so we have to respect this, but
when we are standing by, watching someone destroy their life, is there actually
anything we can do without overstepping our boundaries?
Provide Answers, But Let Them Make The Decision
Finding the right solution for them is incredibly draining, but we need to feel, at the very least,
we've done something to provide an outlet for their problems.
Sometimes help comes in the form of professional support, either through a personal injury lawyer
to help them reclaim their moral victories or someone like a therapist to
help them talk through their issues and reach an emotional conclusion, but it's up to them to
decide when they are ready. If they are destroying their lives as well as others in
the process, this is where we can step in, in a moral sense. Unfortunately, when someone is
going through a bad time emotionally, and they don't want our help, the best approach
we can implement is to provide numerous nuggets of inspiration. Solutions come in many
different ways, shapes, and forms, but it is important for them to take the steps
necessary to fix their problems. As we all know, forcing someone to do something will only
yield the opposite result.
Let Them Know You Are There For Them When They're Ready
And as painful as it can be to be sat waiting by the phone for them should they need us, as long as
we've communicated to them as effectively as possible that we are there for
them when they are ready, this may be all they need to get back on their own two feet. The fact is,
when we go through our own problems, we can feel that we have to retreat into
ourselves because there is no one else ready to share the burden with us. Or, we feel that they
actually don't care, and these can be people that are the closest to us.
So it's important when you are communicating to them that you are there for them, that you mean it.
This may sound very simple, but it's not just what we say.
After all, actions speak louder than words.
If we see someone damaging themselves, the temptation to step in and shield them from themselves
is overwhelming. We have to remember that it's a long journey.
But this doesn't help them to solve their problems. When we need to help someone,
our protective nature can take over, but this isn't the solution for them, or for us.
When someone we care about is going through a tough time, and they are making decisions that
don't benefit them, help comes in unlikely forms, but boundaries have to be respected.
This may be a contributed post but all of the thoughts I agree with and match the tone of my blog.

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