When I was growing up my parents consistently played christian music including Psalty, Colby, and GT and the Halo Express. Each of these records and tapes (yes, I lived in the "olden age" *smiles*) were filled with scriptural messages and truth and even had scripture put to song. I can still remember almost every song on each record/tape and one of those songs on the Psalty tape (It was the one where they went camping.. I believe "Psalty 5" *smiles*) had a song entitled, "climbing my mountain". The lyrics, although they are almost 30 years old still speak to my little heart:
"When something seems to hard to handle,too big to conquer, too far away to touch, when all your dreams begin to shatter, and deep inside you you're hurting, oh, so much, That's when it's time to say
(Chorus) I'm climbing my mountain step by step, I'm climbing my mountain day by day, I'm climbing my mountain all the way, I'm climbing my mountain, I'm gonna make it. One step at a time, One step at a time, One step at a time with Jesus by my side, One step at a time, One step at a time, I'm climbing my mountain one step at a time.
Even though you might grow weary Don't be discouraged, in your weakness God is strong, Remember this, He'll never leave you, He won't forsake you, He's your strength and He's your song So sing and start to say... "
And as the song so adequately states, that is exactly what I am doing. I am climbing my mountain step by step, day by day. If we are connected on instagram then you know that I had a phone appointment with my Lyme Doctor last week. This appointment had to be moved up from the original scheduled by nearly two weeks. Basically to make a very long story short (and because I have chosen not to share all of the details on this blog) when I had to suddenly stop all of my medication in early November "cold turkey" I have been struggling with one significant issue after another. This is not uncommon with Lymies, but still have been a very difficult couple of months.
People have asked me if things are "worse" and that is hard to answer because while I have struggled a lot, I am still MUCH better than a year ago. (As with everything with Lyme, or any serious illness, things are complicated.) Unfortunately though issues with my entire digestive system have started to re-surface (which is very normal after only the first round of treatment) and as I tried introducing different necessary drugs and medications for different health complications, I have suffered a relapse.
The main focus (in early December) was to be on one of the co-infections of Lyme that I have, my environmental illness, and two other health situations that I am dealing with, and continue with detoxification. (These drugs were in addition to the alternative supplements and herbs that I am constantly adding in as I am treating all of my health issues with a combined approach.) Unfortunately though when I started one of the new medications for the co-infection I had a severe reaction (thankfully not hospital visit worthy but still severe) and I crashed at the beginning of December hard. After five days of trying to push through and not being able to keep appropriate amounts of food and water in me consistently I was back to square one and needing to stop all medication again. At the same time, my joint pain (which is consistently at an 8 out of 10) started to flare to about a 15 out of 10 and I was absolutely miserable. (Thankfully, as many of you have been praying and waiting to hear, the new supplements that my doctors office gave me has helped to control this joint pain back down to about an 8. THANK YOU so much for your prayers!) In addition to these things there were some additional, personal side affects, symptoms, and issues that honestly made the last eight weeks extremely painful, difficulty, and to be honest ... discouraging.
(I want to take a moment to insert in here that my Lyme doctor is amazing. TRULY a gift from the Lord. The office staff are amazing and my doctor is truly a miracle gift to me in this very long journey. In such a long and difficult journey in dealing with Lyme patients you have to really be a unique and gifted doctor ... to come up with a plan to beat this awful disease, help keep your patients encouraged, and to deal with the stress of dealing with critically ill patients everyday without getting burned out. Such an amazing gift from the Lord and my favorite answer to prayer from 2014!)
With this background you can probably see and understand why I approached my appointment on Monday with a tad bit of anxiety and a whole lot of curiosity to hear what my doctor would say the plan would be for the coming weeks. And as always on this journey things have shifted a little bit but as my doctor said so eloquently, "we let go of what we can't control and we do the best with what we can". For this planner addict these are difficult words to hear but at the same time they bring a freedom and with them a truth from scripture about "not worrying about tomorrow".
At this point we have decided to work solely on the Lyme co-infection that has settled in my stomach and I have started back on one of the drugs that I was on this summer. My doctor is hopeful that this round of this treatment will help kill a couple of more "layers" of Lyme. This drug isn't fun at all but I am hopeful that I will be able to semi tolerate it and we are moving forward. To be honest... its been... difficult already and we are only a few days in. We are praying that after the first couple of weeks I will be able to do a little bit better, but in the meantime I would covet prayer. She is also putting me on an additional herb that will help deal with some of the Lyme cysts that are causing me so much trouble. We are praying that I can tolerate this new herb and are hopeful that it will help start to break apart those cysts. Finally we are adding a couple of more alternative supplements that will continue to help fight some of my other health issues and and continue to help strength my immune system.
And Finally... we will be adding a very high dosage (and expensive) drug to the regime. This medication (with insurance) is approximately 3,000 a month (yes, you read that correctly) but we are prayerfully hopeful that I will be able to receive assistance. I would also covet prayers for additional financial resources to come in the next few weeks as this is a very tight financial time. THANK YOU so much to Katie & Ethan for your generous donation in December- it was such an answer to prayer!! (Some of you continue to ask how you can give- I am so humbly grateful- and the easiest way is to simply donate to the "Go Fund me Page" which is located below or on the left side of the blog.)
As I think back to the song that I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I feel a mixture of emotions. Sometimes it seems like I am talking about someone else's life as I talk about "plans and drugs and medications" but I know that the Lord is leading me and guiding me one step at a time as we climb this mountain. Sometimes it is hard not to think or worry or be concerned about the future or have questions or have a wide range of emotions BUT we only have today. So step by step and day by day I continue to climb my mountain friends.
Thank you so much for all of your prayers for this continued journey and for your sweet support. Your love, prayers, and support has made all of the difference in this journey.