The last student walked out of my room and left the classroom empty of people and noise. Both things that had become balms to my hurting heart. Noise not ice cream had become the thing that I had tried to "fill up" my life with since the unexpected and devastating break up with my fiance. Noise and my desire for companionship drove me to play countless episodes of "Alias" and "24" until I fell asleep at night. Music and morning talk shows were what I blasted from the first moment of rising each morning keeping me "company" in the early hours of my day and taught me more pop culture than I had ever known in my life.
The need for noise and community drove me to throw myself into my teaching career as never before. I arrived at the school at 6 am most morning and left approximately 13 to 18 hours later. So far, outside of my family and best friends, no one seemed to notice or care. I was avoided adults who weren't close friends - as if I was going to "pass on" the "break up with your fiance" card to someone else. Most of the adults that I worked with seemed unsure of what to say. In that came lots of stilted conversations and lots of awkward silence (well along with the delightful suggestions of trying e-harmony where I was told that "there boys are ready to commit". What I wanted and what my heart desperately needed was for someone to care enough to say they were sorry. I longed for someone to see beyond the broken shell of a person and to simply care. At the time I don't think that most of my co-workers (outside of dear, dear co-workers friends - thank you Kaara & Paul *smiles*) could or were able to give what I needed ~ which was to see love acted out in human form.
This unspoken prayer request was about to come in the most unsuspecting answer: through my students.
Needing contact with someone I wandered down the hallway and greeted students who (unlike the adults) did not avoid me but stepped toward me and met my pain to embrace me to give me thousands of hugs. As the bell rang and the halls emptied I made my way down to the 3rd floor student (senior) lounge which had these big windows that overlooked the soccer field. As I settled into a chair I surveyed the still winter outside and ironically thought about how similar this was to my life. As I sat pondering life I didn't hear "P", one of my senior students come in and settle in beside me on a chair. As it dawned on me that he was there I felt the teacher side of me kick in and looked for something "brilliant" to say. Except nothing came out. I was dimly aware that the holidays must have been just as difficult for "P" as they were for me due to some family situations but could think of nothing to say.
"This view is amazing. I never get tired of it." I heard P say. I replied something of an agreement and then sighed. "How was your holiday, Ms. V"? He asked.
"Short." I replied- my voice laced with frustration and sadness. I had only been back in Maryland for three days and it had seemed like years.
"Ms. V -" I turned to look at him as I realized he was hesitating. "Ms. V" - he said again... "I am so sorry. " As I glanced away and then back at the young man sitting beside me I realized that my cheeks were wet with silent tears.
"Thank you." I whispered. For the first time someone outside my family and best friends had acknowledged the pain I was going through. Not in a way of making it better but with four simple words that acknowledged the deep hurt I was feeling and gave me room to grieve. Four words that were uttered from someone who had done nothing to cause the pain but instead choose to get involved in my pain. I whispered a quiet thank you again and "P" stayed quiet. I am not sure how long we sat there that day before the bell rang but I do remember the feeling of God's presence filling that room because a senior decided to look outside of themselves and reach out to their teacher whose life had been seemingly shattered. Its ironic because in many ways nothing changed that day but in other ways everything changed. The need for noise to numb the pain was gone and within it was replaced a desire for God's voice to fill those crevices.
We as Christians can do a horrible job of helping someone through grief and pain. We have a million solutions for that person, a hundred Bible verses that we can offer and usually some great "sayings" that are all of little help in the moment.
It has been four years and those students are about to become college graduates and will change (and have already started to change) their worlds. It has been four years, and yet I am reminded of that year often with humble gratitude. Often times all we need is someone to come along side us and sit with us and simply say "I am so sorry". It might seem like it is not enough but trust me - it can change everything.
The minute you choose to extend grace and kindness to another hurting human being God can do miraculous things. As time went on there were countless ways that love was physically expressed by this senior class. At a time that could have been one of the most (understandably) selfish times in their lives these seniors adopted me and truly poured love into my life. There were hundreds of letters of encouragement, students who convinced me to take up running after school even though I called them "Stalin" (sorry sunshine!),notes left on my desk, notes left in books, notes left on my car, CD's made that were filled with uplifting music, DVD's given, a lovely lady that called be "beautiful" when I looked anything but that, food brought into school, invitations to eat lunch with them so that I never ate alone, many jokes and practical pranks played that brought laughter, Starbucks gift cards, money towards a new car when my car died and broke down, invitations to weekend outings (including Valentine's Day) and hundreds and hundreds of Dutch Blitz card games simply because I expressed how muck I liked it. Whether it was a conspiracy or a simple plan to care these simple yet precious acts of love brought sunshine and healing to my broken heart.
In what could have been the worst year of my life I truly only remember with a fond and humbled smile. The thing that brought me so much pain was the backdrop for a beautiful time of my life. And it all started with the simple and yet powerful words of "I'm sorry".
Over spring break I fell in love with an area of land that in all of my years of living in upstate New York had not known about until now. The beauty of this land struck me and I fell in love with Lake Champlain all over again.
I am so thankful for my life. I am seriously SO blessed. My family moved to the south (from Pennsylvania) when I was nine years old and as I have mentioned before I spend life split between two incredible cultures. If I say I love the South I follow it up with: and I love the North. But if I said, I love the North I quickly follow it up with: and I love the South.
Today I am going to share just a few reasons why I love the South.
(Forgive me in advance: you will quickly notice that sweet tea and grits are not listed. I could blame a variety of reasons but the honest truth is I am allergic to both. *smiles*)
Reasons I love the South
* love of family
*warm weather
*big front porches
*delightful community
*high school football games
*pretty magnolias
*respectful men who still hold doors
*the sweet ladies who always want to give hugs
*the way everyone talks with you - even in a grocery store
*the laid back feel of life (on some days!)
*love of community
It is that last reason that really resonates with me. I love community and desire to make my blog a place of community and friendships. There are so many lovely southern ladies whose blogs are charming. Honesty this is just one more reason why I love the south!
I have been so thankful for all of the sweet love and support that I have received since announcing my recent diagnosis and treatment plan decision. I am overwhelmed by the incredible show of support that I have received. Thank you so much for all of your sweet emails and messages that I have received during this difficult time. Several of you have sweetly asked how you can contribute to the medical expenses that I will incur during the time of being in California. The funds that I am needing will cover alternative treatments but also will cover finances for hotel costs (which alone are approximately $2000 to $3000). I have created a "go fund me" account and have placed the link in this post and can be found on the right of my blog. I am so humbled by your support. Words can not express how grateful I am. Thank you again!
THANK YOU so much for all of your prayers… I admit that this is an emotional time. I am thankful to have a direction to go in but am nervous and (yes, I admit it) scared to go alone. I am also nervous as I have heard that the treatment is difficult and right now I feel weak. I am SO thankful for all of your prayers as we seek the Lord for His provisions and for healing. I treasure your friendship so much!
With lots of Hugs,
Rebecca
I mentioned before how I love the ocean. When I was in high school I visited Hilton Head, SC for the first time and I truly believe that was where I first fell in love with the ocean. I had visited the Jersey shore when I was a child and different ocean coasts several times in middle school but it was the Hilton Head, SC visit that sealed my love with the ocean. Last year my sister and I decided it would be fun to go to the ocean for my birthday. We originally started by searching for places along the Georgia coast but the price was to much for our budgets so we turned to Hilton Head and it was a decision that we never regretted.
We went just for the weekend and while it took approximately 5 hours from Atlanta to get there we had a great time! And of course we had to stop at Uno's for a gluten free pizza! (Yes, E's hair was blonde!)
After hours in the car we were so thrilled to see the first signs of Hilton Head, SC.
We stayed at the Hilton Head Marriott Resort & Spa and from the moment we pulled up to the property we were enthralled with its beauty. (Just a quick note about the price~ don't forget to use Triple AAA for extra discounts! We saved approximately $45 using this!)
The room we reserved was on the 3rd level right ocean view side(we choose it because of the price) but when we arrived we couldn't see the ocean because of the palm trees that blocked the view. My sister quickly sprung into action and talked to a hotel manager and asked if we could be upgraded to a different room. The manager was delightful and our new room came with a gorgeous view that we enjoyed for the weekend. 
The pool area was so gorgeous and we enjoyed spending hours by the pool and in the hammocks that overlooked the ocean.
For dinner we drove to Harbour Town and enjoyed eating by the famous lighthouse.
If you haven't had the opportunity to visit Hilton Head, SC I definitely recommend it and definitely recommend staying at the Hilton Head Marriott. You won't regret it!
Y'all know that I love discovering and going to thrift stores. Similar to the smitten posts I write I hope to share with y'all thrifting stores across the United States that are wonderful hidden treasures to discover. I love discovering new places to go thrifting and hope that these places that I talk about from time to time on here might be a wonderful discovery for y'all if you enjoy thrifting as much as I do!
There are several wonderful places to go thrifting in Burlington, Vermont. Today I want to share about just one of them!
The Salvation Army on N Winooski Avenue is truly an eclectic find. While you won't walk out of this Salvation Army with LOADS of clothes or furniture (ok, I have never bought a piece of furniture there!) I am always able to find a "steal" with at least one article of clothing every time I have gone. While this is probably one of the "dirtier" thrift stores that I go to you will be able to find a treasure or two if you really hunt for it! This Salvation Army does offer senior and student (any university!) 20% discounts and also has 50% color tags and $1.00 clothing options.
The Salvation Army store is located at: 336 N Winooski Ave, Burlington, Vermont. The phone number is: (802) 864-9552. The store hours are from 9 to 4:30pm but I would definitely recommend calling before you go visit! {It is approximately 5 minutes from downtown Burlington and pretty easy to find.} If you are afraid that you will get lost just watch out for these very bright buildings across the street! hahaha :)
Last week when I went to the N.Winooski Avenue Salvation Army I found a brand new Banana Republic Dress, a cute Target summer dress, a lovely Charlotte Rousse top, and an adorable jacket and paid a total of $6.13(with my 20% student discount).
Do y'all have any favorite thrifting spots that I should check out in Burlington or other places in the United States?
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