Showing posts with label lchaim. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lchaim. Show all posts
If you are just starting to read these posts and are wondering why I am doing something as a "first" for each day of the year, you can read more of the story and background HERE.
Day Five// Apply for a New Graduate Degree
Cost: Application Costs vary
Time: hours, days, weeks to think through / 2-3 hours for application
If you have been around the blog for a little while then you know that back in 2022 I excitedly shared that a long-awaited dream was happening- I had been accepted into a doctoral program and was heading for my PhD (click HERE to read).
It was beautiful. It was emotional. It was redemptive. It was all the things.
A full circle moment as I had to drop out of a graduate program and was one of "many losses" in the years of being sick.
Excitedly I entered the program. I did my first class, got a 4.0 and quickly realized the program was nothing like what I dreamed it would be. I shared a sweet message on here after my first class (you can read HERE) and everything was true. It was challenging and sweet... but it wasn't the fit that I really anticipated. To be honest the focus was just not in my exact goals and it wasn't as challenging as I imagined that I wanted and needed for my future plans and quickly I discovered that there were components of the course that weren't exactly what I dreamed of for my PhD.
If you know me, you know I adore learning. I probably will end up getting several doctorates ... I just truly adore learning. After a lot of conversations with those who know me well and professors I respect, I started looking for a new doctoral program. I found one that I really loved and planned to apply when I found out that my background (with my previous Masters) wasn't the exact fit and it would make it difficult to get a Fellowship and even perhaps be accepted. I found a few more programs that I loved and was told the same thing. I was discouraged, but decided to see if anyone from the departments that I was applying to would be willing to give me time and help with suggestions. Over the last 6 months of 2024 I was amazed at the incredible warm reception I received. I was given a ton of different ideas and thoughts and such helpful information. I am still so grateful for those that gave me that time.
Across the board it became obvious that returning for a Masters program in my narrowed down field would be the most advantageous for me. I had a few moments of discouragement at the thought of delaying my PhD more... but then I realized that there is no time frame for chasing your dreams.
I researched programs, costs, and offerings and decided on a few different programs that fit what I was looking for... and applied at the beginning of this year for this semester.
I received a lot of "constructive thoughts" when I announced this to people. Many were encouraging, but those outside my closest circle had some very negative thoughts and feedback. I have received the comment more than once that I should have just continued on with the original PhD program. Someone (on the day I was accepted to the program I chose) suggested a different university they claimed was "more prestigious" ... and honestly if I listened to all of that I would have missed out on an amazing experience that I am having.
It has been the BEST. DECISION. EVER.
This semester has been everything I had dreamed for my PhD and more. My professor this semester has been absolutely incredible and honestly is in my top 3 professors that I have ever had of all time. My classmates are amazing and the experience has been life-changing.
I have more to share about the program but for now this "first" of applying for a new graduate degree was absolutely incredible.
So for this first here is my encouragement to you... change the graduate degree. Change the job. Change the circumstance. Sometimes the original "fit" is not the right fit in the long-term. Don't waste the days of your life listening to others... go for your dreams whether they make sense to others or not.
Tips for Creating Your Own First Related to This:
*Is the degree you are pursuing not the right fit? Change your direction and apply for a new degree.
*Take a class at the local community college, university, or even high school. Never stop learning.
*Pursue a new degree or certificate to learn something new.
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.jpeg "view a winter sunrise and get out of seasonal monotony")
If you are just starting to read these posts and are wondering why I am doing something as a "first" for each day of the year, you can read more of the story and background HERE.
Day Four// View a Winter Sunrise And Get Out of Seasonal Monotony
Cost: Free
Time: 15-20 Minutes
If you have been around the blog for a little while then you know that I love a summer sunrise. It is not unusual for me to get up extra early to view the beauty in the morning at the cabin and to rest in that beauty.
As I thought about a first for this year though I realized I had never woke up early to see a winter sunrise. Even as an early riser it is unlike me to want to leave the house when it is freezing out in the morning. But as I kept looking out at my window in the morning as I prepared for the day the sunrises looked stunning.
So I picked a morning, got up extra early, and headed out to watch a winter sunrise.
.jpeg "view a winter sunrise and get out of seasonal monotony")
It was freezing y'all. 1 little degree and I had to start giggling that the morning I chose ended up being the coldest morning throughout that entire week.
I drove over to a place where I could see the mountains and the sunrise... and it was chilly... and absolutely stunning. As I sat sipping my hot tea and watching the morning colors brighten the sky I was in awe... and energized.
.jpeg "view a winter sunrise and get out of seasonal monotony")
This was a first that was beautiful, simple, and honestly took a total of about 15 minutes. Sometimes I hear from people when they hear what I am doing this year that they don't have the time to do something like that. They tell me that the time to do something new each day just doesn't work for their schedule. I get it. Life can be incredibly busy, but most of these firsts don't take a lot of time and I hope that can encourage you on your own adventures if you are concerned about that!
For me this first was absolutely invigorating. While I didn't look forward to heading out so early in the cold, I was stunned at the beauty and energized by doing something so simple to start the day off. As the rest of the winter continued I often thought of that morning and the beauty that surrounds us in all different seasons. I found myself slipping out many mornings 15-20 minutes earlier than I use to leave to go to walk, just to see the beauty of winter sunrises. It is something I definitely plan to continue.
This first was a simple but beautiful encouragement to get out of the "seasonal monotony" that I realized I can fall into. Sometimes the best adventures can happen when we try something that "we always do" in one season in a different one.
Tips for Creating Your Own First Related to This:
*Brave the cold and go view a winter sunrise. There is something stunningly beautiful about seeing a sunrise in the winter versus the summer.
*Consider "seasonal monotony items" that can be transferred to a different season for a first. For example do you always only go on vacation during the summer? Plan a trip for the Winter. Always go on a cruise on Spring Break? Try a cruise in the winter.
If you are just starting to read these posts and are wondering why I am doing something as a "first" for each day of the year, you can read more of the story and background HERE.
*A note to my California friends- this subject of this first deals with mentions of oil and fire so this may be a post to skip for right now. Our thoughts and prayers are with each of you. I am so so sorry you are walking through this unimaginable loss*
Day Three// Learn a skill for something to fix in the house on my own
Cost: Varies
One of the things that I wanted to do as a first this year was to learn a skill to be able to fix something on my own in the house instead of always relying on needing to call someone. As background I am just going to be very upfront and honest and say that my dad was my hero and would do everything for "his girls". This included "small things" like pumping our gas for the car, to big things of handling all of the maintenance issues at the house and cabin to making major decisions about appliances in the house (after of course talking things through).
I always knew that this was a gift, but to be honest, working through the grief of losing my precious dad 5 years ago I have realized it even more deeply. My dad constantly was serving us, and as I got sick and moved home I became completely reliant on my parents care. My dad went out of his way to make sure that the only thing I ever needed to worry about or focus on was getting better and taking care of myself.
After my dad died though I realized how little I knew about somethings that resulted in me needing to always call a repair man or hire someone for help. Walking through the extreme grief I was just functioning, but as I have continued to heal, I really wanted to learn a skill for something to fix in the house on my own. For me I suspected that this was going to feel emotional so I wrote it in to do "sometime" this year.
Well "sometime" arrived a lot sooner than I expected when our heater went out very early in the morning on Christmas day...and it was freezing out. We thankfully had some small space heaters that we were able to use and due to the area that we live there is only one person that came highly recommended (and trained properly) to fix the type of heater that we have in the home. When we connected after Christmas he was incredibly kind and over the phone offered to walk me through the steps to try to attempt to fix it on my own.
I remembered that I wanted to learn something new but I decided that combustible oil and fire was not something that I wanted to even touch. *smiles* So he was able to fit us into his schedule a few days later and when he came I unknowingly was about to learn a new skill.
As he fixed our heater he talked through exactly what he was doing and explained (in very layman's terms) the steps that he was doing. Less than a 1/2 hour later he had the heater fixed, some different filters cleaned and new ones placed and then offered to go downstairs to our fuel tank to check and clean that filter. We obviously agreed and then when he said to me, "if you would like to learn how to change this filter it would save you money for me coming back out in the future and you can easily learn how to do it". I was a bit nervous but said, "sure" and less than 30 minutes later I had learned how to not only turn the fuel on and off but to clean the filter and change it at the fuel tank.
Now I just wrote that like it was a simple process, but for me it wasn't. I have always had a bit of a fear of fires (thanks to a 1st grade movie our school showed during fire prevention week of a girl getting trapped in her home) so a lot of questions for me revolved around saying "is that safe?" or "what if the fuel spills?" or asking (at least 10 times) "are you sure I can't set this on fire"? The kind repair man gently told me many times, "it is okay and you can do this". At one point he said, "I know how hard it is to lose an amazing father but he would be so proud of you." I blinked back tears and by the end felt more confident than I believed possible in this arena.
After he left my mom looked at me and said, "how did that feel learning that"? And I had tears as I said, "really good". We exchanged a soft knowing smile and in the days since I have realized that I look at a variety of different circumstances in the house, car, etc. differently. I can approach the "broken/I have no idea what I am doing" situation not out of a panic and extreme grief that would often arise, but with the confidence that my dad always wanted to instill into his children.
In the days of the start of this year we have had a myriad of a few other house issues, including a leaky pipe, an issue with the dishwasher, an issue with the washer and dryer, and an issue with the car. I have to be honest. A year ago, well - even a few months ago... I probably would have been near tears at the thought of dealing with these situations feeling not only the weight of trying to figure out how to afford fixing them, but missing my dad even more.
Since learning the first of learning a new skill for something to fix in the house on my own I have approached each situation differently. I have looked up on youtube for some practical suggestions, talked with my physical therapist who once mentioned that his dad could fix anything for a suggestion, talked with our auto shop about the problem to see if they had a cheap solution and stopped by our local auto shop for a suggestion on something else. Each situation (thankfully) has been an easy repair and something that after someone walked me through it and taught me I have been able to do. (The car repair will need to be done in a couple of months which also gives time to save up for that.)
These situations have actually gently put a bandaid on some of my grief with losing my dad also. In a strange way that is very difficult to explain I know that my dad would be cheering me on the loudest and celebrating with me that I am doing these things and moving forward. What has also been interesting is that after gathering information and talking it through with my mom we sometimes have said, "wait, I think dad would do it this way or dad once said" and it brings a big smile to our faces.
I was so well loved by an incredible dad... and this first has gently reminded me of that in the most tender and profound ways.
And so when I was creating a list of all of the firsts for the year, I had planned to do this first "sometime" throughout the year. Y'all, I am so glad that our heater went out and forced this to happen at the very beginning of the year. I never thought I would ever say that, but it has gently given me the greatest gift for this year... a confidence to fix more things and learn how to do somethings that I just didn't think I could do (around the house or elsewhere) or call a very good repair person *smiles*.
Tips for Creating Your Own First Related to This:
*Ask a local repair person if you can "hire them" to teach you a skill (you may be surprised that many will teach you for free!)
*Ask a friend, co-worker, acquaintance, church member, community volunteer group member, etc. who is excellent at a house skill that you have always to learn if they would be willing to give you a basic lesson
*Call a local home repair store, hardware store, Lowe's, Home Depot, etc. to see if they have any classes that they offer to learn a new home repair skill
If you are just starting to read these posts and are wondering why I am doing something as a "first" for each day of the year, you can read more of the story and background HERE.
Day Two// Read a Local Newspaper in its Entirety
Cost: Free
One of the things that I wanted to do this year was to read the local newspaper in its entirety. Y'all, I don't know about you but for me I couldn't remember the last time that I had read the local newspaper all the way through let alone if I truly took time to read it at all.
As I sat in the morning sipping my tea and reading through the local articles I was struck by a couple of things. First, I found it fascinating the different things that were going on in my area that I had no idea about. This really opened my eyes to the fact that a lot of times when I am looking for things to do I will ask friends, see events posted on social media that are happening, or (and this is the most common) often choose recurring items that I am most familiar with. By reading through the entire local newspaper I found out about several local events I would never have known about, some interesting items going on at a local political level, and read about some fascinating people in our area that are working to make our world a better place.
Second, as a lover of history I discovered a hidden gem that I had never known about nor (as I have talked about this) did most people in our area know about. It turns out that starting in 1890 and lasting until right after World War II there was a Catholic Summer School of America that was located here which was a summer camp for adults. It became so prestigious that at times there could be more than 5,000 people who attended and many writers, governors and even a couple of presidents attended. Eventually finances due to the Great Depression and the War closed the camp and all that remains now is a small historical plaque, but it was a fascinating read of an article and it has inspired a couple of other firsts for the year which I will share more about throughout this year!
When I was creating a list of all of the firsts for the year, I had planned to do this first sometime throughout the year. Y'all, I am so glad that a winter snowstorm delayed my other first plan and that I did this at the beginning of the year.
Embarrassingly, I have often been one to say things like, "I was that we lived in a bit of a bigger city where there were more options of things to do" or "There is always the same events happening around here" or "I wish we had this or that..."... and the list goes on. Now I am honestly embarrassed to even write that here, because as I do, I clearly see that it is me that was stuck in thinking these things as I looked for events outside our area.
I obviously love traveling and am looking forward to some amazing experiences this year that I can't wait to share with y'all...but I am also humbly thrilled to have learned an important lesson at the beginning of this year. Instead of complaining or grumbling or wishing something was different about where I live... I need to fully put time into actually looking around and exploring the area through different avenues then what I have been used to doing in the past. When I lived in a larger city (like when I lived in Washington DC) the ideas were constantly being discussed of so many different things that were happening, but in a smaller area just because I had to put a little more effort in... didn't mean that there wasn't new items to be discovered. An important lesson for life. *smiles*
And this could apply to so many different areas of life. What I learned from this seemingly small choice of a first was once again there is so much of this beautiful world to be explored and learn about... even in my own backyard.
Tips for Creating Your Own First Related to This:
*Read a local newspaper in its entirety
*Ask someone you don't know for ideas and suggestions for things to do in your area (or even ask what they are up to for the weekend). After I read this local newspaper I started talking about the Summer Camp I mentioned to everyone I came in contact with and while so many people had never heard of this, I was given so many different first ideas because a lot of people started saying things like, "Did you know that there was also "this or that" here in this area?" It was truly eye-opening!
If you are just starting to read these posts and are wondering why I am doing something as a "first" for each day of the year, you can read more of the story and background HERE.
The first thing that I wanted to do was start the year by memorizing a verse that would be my verse for the year. As I prayed about it I kept coming back to Psalm 65:11 and this was the verse that I chose. It states...
"You crown the year with your goodness and your paths drip with abundance."
There are several deeply personal prayer requests that I (and I am sure you do too) have tucked in my heart for this coming year and the gentle reminder that the year will be crowned with His goodness and that the paths will drip with abundance struck me deeply.
To memorize it I wrote it out several times and have it placed in a few special places that I will see on a constant basis. I don't know about you, but reminding myself and my heart constantly of the truth from God's word is something that I need all of the time.
"Everyday you preach to yourself a gospel of your loneliness, inability, and lack of resources or you faithfully preach to yourself the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ."
//Paul David Tripp//
This year I am looking forward to memorizing more scripture and starting off with this first was the perfect start to this adventure.
Tips for Creating Your Own First Related to This:
*Consider picking a verse to memorize for the year
*Consider memorizing additional scripture verses or a chapter as the year continues
*Write the verse out and place it in a place that you will see it often so it is easy to memorize
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.jpg "doing something new everyday of 2025")
Doing something new every single day for a year? Yes, you have read that title of this post correctly.
For this year of 2025 - my 45th year- I have purposed to do something new every single day... a "first" if you want to term it for the year.
(Want to go directly to all of the "firsts" I have been sharing? Click HERE!)
You may be asking why would I want to do that, and today I wanted to share a bit more about why I am doing this...
Several months ago I was wandering through a used bookstore when I came across a book entitled "I Dare Me". I admit that when I first read the cover title I didn't think much about it. I looked at it, skimmed the cover and admittedly put it back on the shelf. As I kept browsing throughout the bookstore I kept thinking back to that book and eventually wandered back to it. I looked at it again and picked it up and started reading it. The owner of the bookstore laughed and remarked that they too had looked at it more than once. I was intrigued but didn't really feel that I connected deeply with it, but thought it could be an interesting read. It went into my pile and I added it to my reading list. As the months have gone on and I have read the book I realized I resonated deeply with a couple of points that the author made and there were a couple of things that just made sense to me.
1. Her experiences and background (although different) resonated with my own health journey and experiences. She expressed things that I had often thought deeply but never talked about except with those in my immediate circle.
"I had survived having my entire large intestine removed when I was thirty-three. I had survived breast cancer at thirty-five. I survived kidney cancer at age forty-five. I should have been dancing every day like Gene Kelly in Singing in the Rain just to be breathing, right? But, I wasn't. Perhaps it was because I had survived all of that I was even more distressed...I didn't have time to move to Italy to find myself or meditate on my navel in Bali..."
This paragraph (condensed) hit me so deeply... for the first time someone had expressed those intense emotions of feeling so grateful for a second chance at life and yet feeling distressed because I don't always feel like Gene Kelly everyday or don't feel like I am doing something "to change the world" each day. I expressed some of this in my post last January (click HERE) all about "after the long illness" but there was a lot behind the scenes that this year I took time to work through and pray through and so reading this just hit me deeply.
2. Stepping into the pain of My Story
In her book Lu Ann spoke of her experience with connecting to her health story/journey. I resonated deeply with her story about connecting back to her health journey. She said...
"As of this writing, I'm a twenty-one year survivor. I tell women who have just been diagnosed with breast cancer, the first year is war. You go to battle for your life. There's surgery, chemo, hair loss, pain, scars. You see fellow survivors who don't make it. You lie awake at night scared.... If you get past the first year, you still think about it every day. Is it back?...You don't trust your body not to turn on you again. You pray your mammograms and X-rays are clean. You hold onto your family....If you're lucky, like me, time goes by. And one day, you actually forget to think about breast cancer. You almost feel guilty about it. You go back to life and work without breast cancer on your mind. Therapists says it's healthy to move on and so you do...I've told my story of being diagnosed with breast cancer many times over the years...but as time went on it sometimes felt like I was talking about someone else. I didn't want to emotionally connect to my thirty-five year-old self. It hurt too much..." //page 74
The pages surrounding Lu Ann's experience was something that brought me to tears. It was eye-opening and it was deeply healing. I realized that it was me. I have shared my story with people around the world, through the blog, and through my books... and somewhere it became almost clinical. Just like her I felt like I had told the story of a young woman (a girl in many ways) who at one point had only been given a few months to live and now was healed and I felt like I was talking about someone else.
A few years ago some of you remember that I went back to teaching (a dream fulfilled) after nearly a decade away. One day a fellow teacher walked in and sat down and with no pretense said to me, "so tell me your story". I was confused and asked what she was talking about and she proceeded to tell me that the principal and students had been saying "how incredible" my story was and she wanted to hear it. I hesitated, she insisted, and I proceeded to tell her a 10 minute version of the story (because it was obvious she was bored)... at the end she literally looked at me, stood up, and said "hmmm....I was expecting something really remarkable ... what's so inspiring about your story?" and walked out.
I remember sitting there stunned... and then realized that down deep there was a part of me that felt exactly what she said. What was so special and remarkable about my story? What was so inspiring about it? Some of my friends have hated the response she had... but to me she expressed something I encountered as I returned to "real life". Most people never were going to understand or take the time to really hear the war that had been fought for my health. Some maybe were afraid it could happen to them, some maybe just didn't care, or some (like a boss I had) told me that my experiences wouldn't contribute to the skills for the job...
I had to heal and it took me a while to work through time lost, dreams delayed, and hurt that was incredibly deep... and that took time... a lot of time.
So after I read the book in its entirety and realized also that there was a sense of replanting and growing after nearly a decade of fighting for my life and then the ensuing years of losing my precious daddy and grandmother and a hundred other big life changes along the way... and so a year of doing something new every single day was born.
A couple of guidelines that I wanted to share...
1. While I do plan to share a lot of the items throughout the year, there are a few that I have planned that are private which I know you will understand and respect. I may in the future share about them... or maybe they will stay in a secret place in my heart.
2. A first could be something that I hadn't done in the last 7-10 years (after nearly a decade away from "real life"... let me tell you this makes sense).
3. Every single day I will be doing a first... and welcome suggestions y'all! If you have anything please feel free to send it to me!
4. Not every "first" is "life-shattering" but each one is something that I am looking forward to learning from and experiencing and sharing!
Friend, I am not sure where you are as you have approached this new year, but I hope that this year of me doing something new every day will inspire you in your own story. Here is to replanting, building, and rejoicing...
L'Chaim friends...here is to life.
"The people who survived the wars have found favor in the desert. The LORD appeared to me in a faraway place and said, “I love you with an everlasting love. So I will continue to show you my kindness. Once again I will build you up, and you will be rebuilt, my dear people Israel. Once again you will take your tambourines, and you will go dancing with happy people. Once again you will plant..."
//Jeremiah 31:2-5//
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