This past week brought a conclusion to something very unexpected that took place almost two months ago. The handling of something that was done without kindness and the timing amidst everything with mom's treatment was inconceivable. I have purposefully chosen not to speak about it publicly or share details - because in many ways the ending was synonymous of years of being very mistreated and disrespected in this situation- so the ending should not have been surprising.
Yet- it immediately brought many emotions and a constant barrage of questions personally:
Would I choose to sink to the level of those who had mistreated me and treat them in kind?
Would I respond with negative words?
Would I choose to respond by sharing on my public platform about the pain and rally support and bad mouth everything?
Would I choose to live and sit in the pain of never even hearing from those that I lived life with for years?
OR- would I choose each day to forgive and set my intentions, my heart, and my mind on the God who knows all about the crossroads that batter our lives and set a new tone of forgiveness so that what had been very ugly could be beautiful in my life and for those in my haven circle?
For years- but especially the past six weeks I have chosen the latter.
Each day presented unique challenges and injustices that had to be faced. I am so grateful for the love of dear ones who gently, tenderly, and wisely have walked through years and these last 6 weeks encouraging me to set a pattern of forgiveness and there in a path to self-control and composure. To forgive without apologies, to release the disrespect, to rise above the pettiness, to realize that anger in the face of trauma is understandable because all of us yearn for justice and hurt when life is unfair, but most of all to find comfort from God as I was cut off from a place and a group of people I poured my heart into for years.
I know 1 am not sharing specifics but I hope in reading this it encourages you if you are walking through a difficult situation with people who have caused you pain. Six weeks ago- I chose to immediately seek wise counsel and started the process of healing and forgiveness. And over the last six weeks as each new day dawned and a new injustice would erupt I made a conscious decision to forgive- so that even with the conclusion of something this week- forgiveness was already a pattern.
Here is what I found- it didn't feel painful- because I was free. Free to focus on the future with hope and peace and to truly embrace the beauty that is in this incredible new season. If you are walking through something incredibly unfair - tenderly I want to encourage you to choose forgiveness-step into on the future with hope and peace. There is so much beauty ahead for you. Your best chapters are coming.
"You are God Who Sees" for she said, "Have I not even here in the wilderness remained alive after seeing Him [who sees me with understanding and compassion)?"
// Genesis 16:13 //
When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dreamed.
Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”
The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
Restore our fortunes, Lord, like streams in the Negev.
Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.
Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.
// Psalm 126 //
If you are walking through a very painful season that includes things like injustices or hurt from others or life- I would highly recommend the following books -
they are full of truth
1. Resurrection Year by Sheridan Voysey
2. The Making of Us by Sheridan Voysey
3. Gradually Then Suddenly by Mark Batterson
4. Victim of Grace by Robin Jones Gunn
5. To Fly Again by Gracie Burnham
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