Create in me a clean heart O God // Psalm 51:10
At the end of last summer I walked through an incredibly painful, hurtful, and disrespectful thing in a relationship when I was ghosted with no warning. Ghosting comes in all forms and all different people have stories on this, but this sudden and shocking ending to talking to someone nearly everyday for months hurt my precious and tender heart more deeply than words could express.
I admit that at first, I truly thought that something had happened to the person and worried for their (and their families safety) - as it never crossed my mind that someone (especially at our age) would "ghost" another person. The disrespect of that was unfathomable to my tender and loving heart and the wounding hurt left me pretty battered. As I worked through forgiveness and healing (which I mentioned in my"doing something new every single day" post ( and reels which you can find them HERE and HERE) there was a verse (that was later to put to a song) that I played on repeat hundreds of times a day. You can find it HERE.
I truly hope will be an encouragement if you are walking through a fog of disbelief of something that has taken place in your own life in dealing with relationships.
For me, I knew that one of the biggest things that would be hard was that as the fog of grief and disbelief started to wane was to remain "soft". I without a doubt knew that forgiveness and fighting to remain soft were things that I wanted for my future and did not want to look back 6 months from then, a year from that time, or even decades later being bitter about what had taken place.
I came across a quote on social media around this time (I don't know who the original quote belonged to but if you do please let me know in the comments so I can credit although our quote is quite a bit different) and as I forgave this person who had hurt me (and those in my inner circle who love me deeply) it encouraged me deeply...
Finally, I realized that I am not a permanent person in anyone’s life or anyone’s story, but my deepest prayer is that I would be allowed to be the best temporary (minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, till the end of my life) person in the chapter, season, fleeting or long held - lifetime moments. I will stay joyfully as long as the season allows (hoping for a lifetime) but with hope and gratitude gladly hold things freely open handed, giving the freedom for anyone to leave which is the highest tender respect one can give with love.
I knew that no matter what that person had done- I could fight to remain soft and as I had done the entire relationship- hold things freely and give that freedom for anyone to leave- that is the highest and tender respect you can give with love.
It was no longer about the disrespectful thing that that person had done, but it was about me and my heart and forgiveness and creating a right spirit within me.
So as I walked, moved throughout my day, worked, prayed constantly for this person and their family (as I had been doing for months), and and yes, wept at the hurt, I played on repeat a song that I had heard long ago in my childhood- "Create in me a clean heart O God". I was begging the Lord for help in creating a right spirit within me.
Did I wish that the person would have been kind enough to have a simple conversation? Yes.
Did I still find it incredibly disrespectful? Yes.
Was my heart broken at everything? Yes.
But do I find now, 9 months later, that I have forgiven this person, and my heart is "soft" as my tearful prayers had been so many months ago? Do I pray for this person and their family still to this day? Do I wish them the best and want the best for them?
Thankfully and tenderly I can say- absolutely yes.
I am free of bitterness, anger, and woundedness. My heart has been tenderly wrapped in the joy of my salvation and forgiveness and I am free.
May I gently say to you if you are in this situation... how you handle this- is so important. It is crucial in how you approach being ghosted and how you heal from it for your future. Make sure in your depth of pain to fill your mind with truth- and encouragement, because 9 months after something like this happens, you will either be walking in bitterness or freedom.
Keith Green originally wrote this many decades ago, but the version that I played was newer and sung by a two people from The Netherlands. You can find it on YouTube HERE.
I hope you will go over and listen and share with your community who may need this tender encouragement right now also.
I hope that these words encourage your heart and soul today and bring rest and encouragement to the places of needed repair in your life. If there is anything I can pray for you about- please reach out via email or leave a comment so we can all be praying for you.
I am so grateful for this community.
Create in me a clean heart O God // Psalm 51:10
Create in me a Clean a Heart
Create in me a clean heart O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Create in me a clean heart O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from thy presence O Lord,
and take not thy Holy Spirit from me
Restore unto me the joy of Thy Salavation
and renew a right spirit within me.
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